A little help from my friends - the final episode (for now)

Okay, then, here is the last one. I really mean it! Yes, I know that I've been saying the same thing for the last few weeks, but really, this is it. Here's the last group of funny photos submitted to me from over a year ago. Then we can move on to posting the more recent ones :)


Nothing to it but to do it!


Here's a great sign from Dena, my ever-loyal sign scout:

That one reminds me of the way my kids occasionally speak. I remember once when they were much younger, and someone was in someone else's way, one of my kids said, annoyed, "You're making me not have any space!!" To which I thought - yeah, all those words technically make sense, but a native English speaker would just say, "You're squishing me!!" Likewise, yes, "merge" and "fit together" are pretty much the same thing. But - really? That's what you wanted to write, out here in front of everyone? Hmm. Anyway, thanks Dena!


Number two in today's lineup - from Ricky, my good friend and contributor:

Okay, the obvious mistake here also isn't such an obvious one to non-English speakers. We don't say trousers, we say pairs of trousers, right? But what I find to be much funnier here is that they claim to be the leading producers of laundry. I thought that they're supposed to produce the clean clothing, while we customers provide the laundry, no? I mean, are they going to charge us for unprecedented amounts of stained clothing? Interesting - maybe I should try making money like that...


Here are some menu bloopers sent to me by one of my very best virtual friends, Mirj:

Various typos, strange translations, misplaced apostrophes, random capitalization - what can I say? Velcome to Izrayel!


And here's a crazy one from Rachel, who presents us with this one. The product is a cool idea - twist ties on demand. But what the heck is going on with the packaging? (The picture is split into two halves, but you get the idea.)

Embroider? Prick? I feel like Inigo Montoya, from the Princess Bride, who said, in one of his very best lines, You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. Oh, and look, continuing with the Inigo theme, here at the bottom we have a sword! The sword seems to be closest to its actual meaning - I mean, the place where one cuts the twist ties is sharp, like a sword, right? (Whereas I'm still not clear on what the embroider is referring to.) But here's another funny thing - presuming that embroider, prick and sword were exactly the words they were going for, apparently they didn't even know where the sword was supposed to go :) (Guys! It's to the left!)


Well, I think that's all, folks! Please join us again next week for your regular installment of funny signage mistakes, mostly seen here in Israel, the land I love. Have a great week, in the meantime! 


Oh, and don't forget to check out Lesley's meme, Signs, Signs, if you'd like to see more sign-oriented photography! Some of it is really interesting, and even beautiful - it's worth a visit!

A little help from my friends - the saga continues...

Well, we're almost caught up. And by that, I mean that I'm almost done putting up all the funny things sent in before a year ago!  After that, we'll go back to our regularly scheduled programming, with one post per week. Unless, of course, I get flooded with more entries (hint hint)!


Anyway, let's jump in! First, how about this snazzy flyer that our good buddy Shlomo got in the mail:

Is that offensive to Poles? I apologize if any of you are upset, that wasn't my intention. If any of the rest of you are in the market for some vaks, please contact Shlomo, to get the phone number on his flyer.


Check out this cool sweatshirt that Safranit found for sale in Katzrin!

Wow. I remember back in high school, I had a t-shirt that said "brush your teeth regularly" in Russian. The idea was that anything written in Russian was automatically cool... well, at least, according to a few of us. Somehow, I get the impression that the motivation here was similar - it's got some letters, they look like English - yalla, put it on the rack, we'll be rich! I sure hope my t-shirt didn't have as many typos... 


Here's a funny one from our longtime fan and contributor, Gidon:

Um. What? Come again? Oh, maybe they're trying to entice us to come in so we can find out what the heck they're talking about??


And here's one more from Gidon. I like this one even more!

Ha! That one is just excellent. If the drivers won't pay attention, maybe we can at least get the street signs to notice! That's good optimism on the part of City Hall, I say. 


You know, I still have four more to post! I think I'll save them for next week, since Dave really wants me to share these two things with you that he came across this past week - both very funny. Here's the first one, although this is in Hebrew - I promise, I'll explain:

That's from the HaAretz newspaper last Friday. It's the usual "what time to light Shabat candles" box found in the corner of Jewish publications worldwide, except that it lists the weekly portion as "Parashat Blah Blah." Oy! I guess whoever was working on it decided to be cute until they had time to look up which weekly portion was due to be read, and then they just never got back to it. From what I understand, people are highly offended, and HaAretz is being sued. Hilarious! 


And two, far less Jewish, and equally hilarious:

As The Media Blog commented: It is a little surprising that the reporter didn't think to check. "Crikey, that's a lot of a pigs mate, are you sure you mean 30,000?". Similarly, if they really thought there were 30,000 pigs floating down the river, why did they only put it on page 11? That would be Biblical!


Wow! That was a good week. Don't forget, I'm submitting this to Lesley's meme, Signs, Signs.Go check it out now, for more intriguing signage from all over the world! And have a fantastic week, all of you!

Help from my friends - Episode II

Last week, I had planned to post all of those signs and labels from way back that had been sent to me by loyal readers everywhere. That is, until I realized that I'm lucky enough to have way too many for a single post! And so, with no further ado: here's the second installment of my A Little Help From My Friends post:

This one is from our good friend Ariel. (Remember Ariel?) In case you can't see all of the small print, she was sweet enough to give us some close-ups:

and here:

Wow - every line here is a jewel! The obvious winner on the laugh-meter would be amazing visual convulsion, just because it's got convulsion in there, but I think my personal favorite might actually be It can take your endless fun! That sounds to me like something parents can really relate to. Whichever you choose - thank you, Ariel!


Next up:

That funny one is from our good friend Ricky. Your average Wii game system isn't nearly as forthcoming and friendly as this one that he found. Would you like to play? Wi Wi!

I thought I had a hard time explaining English spelling to my Israeli kids. Now Mirj has found a whole new concept to throw us off: silent g! Unfair, I tell you. How are we possibly supposed to remember all of these complicated rules?! But she saw it at the airport, so it must be right. Sigh.

Our friend Ari found this one, right outside Jerusalem's Old City. The thing is, as those who can read and understand Hebrew can testify, this wasn't intended to be a sign about noise pollution, but rather: No Parking. Oops. Well, maybe it's better this way - it's become a two-for-one sign.




Believe it or not, I still have a few more! But that's okay, they'll wait for another week. Meanwhile, I want to finish off with this wonderful image, as seen today on Hadassah Sabo's blog, In the Pink:

I'm posting this to Lesley's meme, Signs, Signs. Go and check it out - you'll be glad that you did!

That's it for now, folks - have a great day!

A little help from my friends

Well, I was going through the emails in my "time of the signs" label (in my ever-faithful gmail) to try and decide what to post today. Suddenly, I went back a bit further than I had meant to... and discovered that there are a bunch of things that were thoughtfully sent to me that somehow slipped through the cracks, and weren't ever posted! Some are from actual friends of mine, and some from virtual friends (who would have ever thought that I'd have virtual friends!). Anyway, all of you - thank you for sending these! Here are some of them, better late than never:

That one was from Elie Klein, who found it while rafting with his family on the Hatzbani river. A tremendous specimen! This one seems to be almost as awful as those ones in Asia that we see posted around online. I can't even decide which part I like best, but I am confident that Elie's family fulfilled the sign's required level of cool.

That one is from Mrs. S., who pointed out that this box is a real mine field. I can just see the family get together - the ice cream is mine! No, it's mine! No, it's *mine*!

This one is from my good friend Rachel, who was cheerfully greeted by this message on her laptop in the airport in L.A., upon nearing the end of her allotted wireless ration. The thing about this is that when she first sent it to me and told me that it was "from the airport," I just assumed that she was talking about our little Israeli airport, Ben Gurion. Then I started putting this post together and I suddenly remembered that Ben Gurion has unlimited free wireless access, and so it had to be a different airport. Which makes this all the much more shocking, I think! L.A.?! And that's the English that they came up with? That's actually really scary. Thanks, Rach!

This is from my good friend Dena. I almost like the Hebrew here as much as the English... I always enjoy witnessing the usage of the word "ped" for "pad." Anyway, I actually know some people looking for cheap housing now - I wonder if there's any room left in the skid resident base?


Wow, I actually have a bunch more photos waiting here - I guess those will have to wait until next week. Be patient, everyone! But before I leave you, I must include the pièce de résistance of this week, and here I owe a bunch of thanks. To Dave, who first showed it to me, posted on Avigdor's Facebook page... to Avigdor, who was kind enough to let me use it... and to Gidon, who later emailed it to me. And now, with no further ado:

Okay, are we all looking in the same place? Do we all see it? There, first word on the second to last line? So - even if you don't speak Hebrew, and even if you don't understand the Jewish Law regarding orla, you can certainly agree that you don't want any foreskin in your grape juice. That said, this label makes me a little nervous. I mean, this brand guarantees no foreskin, right? So tomorrow, if I pick up a different bottle with no such guarantee, will my neighbors really feel comfortable with the level of kashrut in my house? Oh, man, this is exactly how stringencies start... 


Thank you, Avigdor, who's boss' friend in England saw the actual label. Once again, I'm posting to Lesley's new meme, Signs, Signs. Go check it out, right now! And have a great week, everyone!

When I was your age...

Well, I've been going through my older emails, and I found this photo, lovingly submitted by my dear brother Avy. You may remember him from such posts as this one, and even this! He is officially a good brother; as you can see, he's linked to both of my blogs on his sidebar :)


Anyway, Avy wrote, "I saw this sign at Jewel, and thought: "It's probably my duty as a human being to share this with Toby and her blog. Apparently, it's a new brand of bread." To which I respond, "!?!"

So it's true that I haven't lived in America for quite a few years, but I can tell you that in *my* day, bimbos just weren't so readily available - and certainly not next to the olives at the grocery store.


Thank you, Avy! And everyone - don't forget to check out Lesley's cool new meme, Signs, Signs! Have a great week!

Highly estimated

Here's another doozy from Yoel, who sent this to me a while ago. Thanks, Yoel! He found this in the Carta parking lot, in Jerusalem:

Estimated, eh? Is it possible that they're trying to say esteemed? Or, as Yoel suggests, perhaps whoever translated this spoke Spanish, and got mixed up with estimado. Who knows? I also like the please notice used here, it seems very passive and mild mannered. Don't pay attention, and certainly don't put in too much effort - just noticing is good enough for us :)


I occasionally think that I've covered all the typos in this country. It's almost a relief to know that there are more out there to giggle at! 


Have a great week, everybody! And don't forget to go check out week #2 of Lesley's new meme, signs, signs! 

Happy New Year!

In keeping with my pledge to post once a week, here I am! Just under the wire, but here! First of all, Happy New Year, all of you! Let's see how long it takes me to remember to sign '11. I think I'm usually well into February before I really get the hang of things...


Anyway, here's a funny restaurant that I found with the kids this past summer, on our way back from the beach in Ashdod. See, I told you that I have photos that have been waiting around for a long time! What do y'all think of this one?

I like it a lot! But that's just me, there's no accounting for taste. Unless, of course, you're a restaurant :)


I'm excited to be participating in a new meme this week - something I've never done before with this blog. Lesley is starting a meme for photos of signs - what could be better for me? It's very logically called Signs Signs - go and check it out right now!


Happy New Year, all! And have a great week!