25 November, 2014

The latest mix...

Winter is upon us, and there's nothing like some funny signs to go with your hot cocoa. I'm still pulling things out from my 2011-2012 emails, believe it or not... 

First up today: this gem, found by Micha. Perhaps it's some kind of pet control device? Are dogrings available as well?
Thanks, Micha!

Here's a bizarre sign that Dave found, directed at any characters who wanted to park in this lot:
But how do they judge your character? Seems pretty complicated to me. Thanks, Dave!

Looking through those old emails, it appears that the city of Modi'in was having a particularly hard time with English back in early 2012. First, this was found, by our friend Ari:
Huh? What? But before we could spend much effort trying to decipher that one, this was found elsewhere in the same city by my friend Rachel!
And just at the same time, my friend Dena found this on Anglodeals - also in Modi'in! Truly bizarre, I hope things have improved since :)

Evidently that was meant to be blueberry... Thanks, Ari, Rach and Dena!

Oh - one more from the archives, before we move on - here's this strange, strange translation, found by our friend Aaron, while riding the train:
Just to make it clear, the direct translation here is: 
In Case of Emergency! Pull the handle, 
Wait for the train to stop,
Move the door sideways to open.
Penalty for misuse.

So - huh? How did they get to pushing leaves?? 
Thanks, Aaron!

And now, for some more recent finds :)

My virtual friend Dina found this in the Be'er Sheva train station:
That's a cute translation - somehow I've got images of trains wearing sneakers in my head now :)

My friend Brie shared this gorgeous, gorgeous typo on facebook this afternoon:
This one will be funnier for Hebrew speakers. The word for surf in Hebrew has the root G-L-SH, which is similar enough to goulash, apparently, to cause this ridiculous situation :) Thanks, Brie!

And last but certainly not least, for today: my friend Naomi found this and shared it with me moments before I happened to be headed to the grocery store, so naturally, when I got there, I searched it out and grabbed a photo :)
It's hard enough for people who move here to get used to saying soup almonds instead of soup nuts, now we've got soap nuts? Maybe it's just me, but that does not sound appetizing. The world has just gone mad, that's all I can say :) Thanks so much, Naomi!

That's all for now, folks! As always, I'm sharing this with Lesley, over at her weekly meme, called Signs, Signs. Oh, and a quick public service message - my brother has started a really funny and quite delicious blog, called The Awesome Sauce Kitchen. He's off to a great start - go and check him out!

Happy Thanksgiving to all, and here's hoping for a wet winter here in Israel - see you again soon!

02 October, 2014

Happy New Year!

Well, we're in between Rosh HaShana and Yom Kipur, that special time of year where we try to act on our best behavior, in order to convince God that we're worthy of living another year. And how better to do that than by posting more funny signs? Not only will I fulfill my promise to post every two weeks or so, I also get to amuse the masses at the same time. Buckle up!

First in line today: this is something that I actually posted this week on my pretty photoblog. My family and I found it on all the lawns in front of Buckingham Palace, on our brief layover there, this past summer:

At first we were surprised at the typo - not only in England, the land of proper English, but around the actual palace, seemingly a highly important, much seen area. And then it occurred to me that perhaps this is a British expression? Like "take care of the grass," you know, that kind of thing. I was so pleased to give them the benefit of the doubt, but I'm sorry to say that all the British people I've asked confirmed that this is indeed a blooper. Oh, well. Then again, if they can do it, I don't need to feel as badly when Israelis do things like this:

That brilliant one was spotted by my ever-alert husband on Facebook - it was posted by Avi Shekhtman. Thanks so much, Avi, for letting me use this! I'll be sure to keep my popcorn away from your face :)

Here's something that Yonina found a few years ago - particularly appropriate for our upcoming Yom Kipur:

During the year, that makes a little less sense - this water is confused. Are you prohibited, or for drinking? Thanks, Yonina!

If you're feeling topsy turvy, you're not the only one - here's a gem found by Deena, quite a while ago, in Malcha:

Even sadder - Deena pointed out that technically, the "up" there could be read "dn," leading to this ridiculous situation. Is that an excuse? Well, we'll forgive them, 'tis the season :)

Here's something that would get me to walk in the door - I'd do almost anything to be considered cool:
That one was from Debbie, who found it on Kanfei Nesharim, in Jerusalem. And my good friend Dena pointed out that the apostrophe in the Hebrew is in the wrong place, too - I knew something looked wonky over there :) Thanks, Debbie and Dena!

And as a finale, here's something I found at Hadassah's Mount Scopus hospital, just yesterday:
All of us who have tried typing documents in both Hebrew and English know that it's tricky to get the words to line up - sometimes they slide over inexplicably, and it's a little challenging to get it right. But - it can be done! And this is not a random document, it's a proper sign, paid for and hung all over the hospital! Really a pity that they couldn't afford a proofreader; I guess the cutbacks at Hadassah this past year went further than I had thought :)

That's it for now - thanks for dropping by! As always, I'll link to Lesley's blog, Signs, Signs. Here's to a wonderful New Year, and a meaningful, effective Yom Kipur to us all!

12 September, 2014

I did it!

Look at me - I said two weeks, and here I am :)

I'm going to open with this one that I found about a month ago - it actually shocked me. This is on the road from Gush Etsion, where I live, to Jerusalem. I've lived here since the summer of 2000. It *must* be a new sign, right? There's *no way* that it's been here this whole time, and I didn't notice? Here's hoping...

Here's a sign that I found back in - gulp - 2011! So nice, they wrote it twice:

Here's something that our friend Raffi found, many years ago. They may have been going for cheapness, but personally, I'd call this priceless :)

Here's something that our cousins Mark and Pat found a few years ago, when here in Israel for a visit. They were impressed, as was I, with the spaciousness of the mayonnaise:

Here's something that my dear Dave found at a takeout place that used to exist, here in Efrat:
That one is funny on a couple of levels - the "staffed" instead of "stuffed" is amusing, but the fact that they had no energy to write "grape leaves, onions, and cabbage" and just settled on "things" borders on hilarious :)

And last for today, this was spotted by Avital, a virtual friend of mine, who found it on the side of an Israeli garbage truck. Shame that they decided to skip the Hebrew altogether, I suppose they figured it's modern and cool to do English only - and what impressive English!

That's it for today, folks! Thanks for coming by - have a wonderful weekend!

Oh, and naturally I'll post this to Lesley's meme, Signs, Signs. How can I resist? :)

27 August, 2014

I remember back when I had a blog about funny signs...

ah, those were the days :)

First, I was just plain busy, and couldn't find the time. Then there was a war. Then I got busy again, and now there's been a whole other war! But through it all, people actually still send me funny typos and signs pretty often, and at this point, I have a backlog of a few years worth of material. So I figured, even if I don't have time to write proper posts, full of wit and cleverness, it's just a shame not to share these gems with you. Don't you agree? Quick, let's go, before there's another war...

With no further ado - here's a tiny sampling of what I have waiting for you. These are just the most recent ones that I have sitting in my inbox! My hope is to post this tonight, and then start blogging every other week. I've learned better than to make promises, but I'll really do the best I can! Thanks to all of you who haven't given up on me in the meantime, and still think of me when you see gigantic mistakes. I never could decide if that was a compliment or not :)

First up, from Michael Shore - this one is actually kind of poignant:

Here's an amazing one from Bruce Zivan. Hebrew speakers, see if you can figure them all out! It took me a little while... I find it perfect that they saved the best for last :)

This is a fabulous find from my dearmost Dave - the bloody beans seem to me to be the absolute best here, but there are an awful lot of things to chuckle at. Actually, looking at it again, there's almost nothing here that doesn't need a good fixing:

Here's a beauty from Brie Reich. This one is so basic and wonderful - it actually makes me feel like I could do this for the rest of my life and never run out of things to post :)

Here's something that was sent to me by Sharon, although she told me that photo credit goes to Riki Freudenstein. Sharon pointed out that the bear on the label matches the fur very nicely (although a brown bear would be even better!), and that even the Hebrew doesn't make too much sense. It could easily be read as "70% Pareve" which begs the question: is the other 30% meat or dairy?

And last for now, another one from Brie - this from just this morning! It's so sweet, who could possibly resist buying one of these?
Ah, that was a lot of fun - thanks for coming by!

Oh, just for the heck of it, I'll link here to Lesley's weekly meme, Signs, Signs

Here's hoping to see you again in another two weeks or so - meanwhile, keep smiling! Have a great day, all!