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Well, we Israelis woke up yesterday to a double entendre: indoors, we heard both of our leading Prime Ministerial candidates happily announcing their victory, and outdoors, all fog. At first I figured that the further I got, the clearer the weather would be, but no: wherever I drove, I couldn't see more than 10 feet ahead. Foggy in our skies and foggy on the radio - I couldn't help but connect them. But again, that's just me.
On the one hand, this situation is kind of friendly - right and left, everyone seems pretty cheery. That's nice, right? But eventually, someone is going to have to make a decision. It kind of reminds me of a bipolar sign from L.A. that my dear brother Benjy sent me a while back. It, too, wants it all:
See, now, most of us can't get away with that kind of thing. We'll have to wait and see how long our politicians can keep the grins on their faces...
So I was checking out one of my favorite blogs the other day - it's called "It's Lovely! I'll Take It!" (feel free to click the link on my sidebar). It's a compilation of silly photos people use in their real estate ads, and it's consistently entertaining - highly recommended!
Anyway, Sara (the author) has BlogHer ads along the side. BlogHer, apparently, is some kind of online community for female bloggers. I've actually considered joining a few times, but it's not entirely clear to me what it's all about. Anyway, apparently they have ads, among other things, and this one struck me as quite funny. I have a feeling that this might be one of those photos that not all of you find funny, though. We'll have to wait and see. Here it is:
Now, I think that the UNCF is a great thing, don't get me wrong. And I have a strong feeling that the motivation behind this photo was along the lines of "books, the building blocks of... something." But that's totally not what I saw. To me, this says, "we have all these books lying around that no one's going to use - looks like encasing them in concrete is the best thing we can do with them."
No?
Well, we're in a cease fire, here in the Middle East. I'm not sure how long it will last, but the radio stations are playing regular music again, and I'm a little more light hearted. I figured now was as good a time as any to post this goofy thing I came across a couple of weeks ago.
I'm signed up to an email list called "Israemploy." It advertises jobs, as you may have guessed. No, I'm not looking for a new job, but I was signed up a while ago, and just never took myself off. I usually know of someone who's looking for a job, so I try to keep my eyes open, in this very passive way.
Anyway, most of the positions offered are technical, although the list also has its small share of caretakers and waitresses. I don't usually read much detail, but this one caught my eye:
Maybe it's not even that funny - but a smile definitely came to my face when I read this. A feeling for music to work with dough? Wow - it sounds like so much fun!
Employers everywhere: we need more jobs with requirements like these!
We're still at war. Early this afternoon, an air raid siren went off outside my window, and I was a bit shaken, to say the least. It was, thank God, a false alarm, although too many rockets did unfortunately hit elsewhere in Israel all day.
You'd think, under these circumstances, that there wouldn't be any funny typos from which to glean pleasure. And yet, my dear husband Dave managed to find one. Here it comes:
It seems that Joe the Plumber, of McCain campaign fame, has come to Israel to be a US war correspondent. A bit unusual, but fine. He visited Sderot, and checked out the general situation. He's coming across as quite pro-Israel, so I have no complaints. You can read about it here (in English).
The article that Dave saw was in Hebrew, and had more pictures. In the first, we see Joe holding a small rocket:
Okay, apparently this was given to him as a gift by an Israeli plumber. I'm not sure what we're supposed to understand from the choice of gift (your average Israeli plumber can whip up a rocket? pretty strange), but what's done is done.
Anyway, at the end of the article, they have a close-up shot of the rocket:
Dave sent me the article, and I read the rocket a few times before I got it. I'll type out the message, in case it's too small to read:
"For Joe the plumber,
Thank you for your support in these difficult days.
From the Israeli plumber, Mohe N."
Some of you may not get it, but here it is. The Israeli plumber's name (as given in the article) is Moshe. Moshe is the Hebrew version of Moses; there's no such name as Mohe. The man spelled his name wrong! Wow.
That's what we've got, folks - war jokes :)
Here are a few good articles/videos to check out about what's going on here:
http://imshin.net/?p=1041
http://cgis.jpost.com/Blogs/harris/entry/shame_posted_by_david_harris
http://westbankmama.wordpress.com/2009/01/11/apologizing-will-not-make-you-safe/
http://menachemmendel.net/blog/2009/01/11/humor-during-wartime/
Well, times are tense. I said I'd be back after Chanuka, and the fact is, I meant it. All through our fun-and-family-filled vacation I came across sign after sign, and I was so looking forward to posting them. And then, suddenly, Israel was at war, and the goofy signs that I had amassed didn't seem so goofy.
And, although I don't take myself very seriously, I am an Israeli blogger. Most Israeli bloggers, it seems, are doing their part in getting the real Gaza story out there. From what they've been producing, it seems to be a full time job. Just to give you an idea, Jack has been compiling articles and blog posts since the beginning - check out the latest one here. See, I told you so.
Anyway, I've been holding back on posting, but I came across something at work today that I just have to share. And the end is a bit scary, so it kind of goes with war. Okay? That's my compromise. I'll post some scary/funny printscreen shots, which is what I know how to do, and I'll end by linking to a few good Gaza-related articles that I've read this past week or so, so that you too can enjoy the wisdom that's going around.
***
At work, my boss recently got talked into dropping the relatively expensive drafting program that we've been using at my office for the last 15 or so years, in favor of one that comes free with another program that we have. Sounds like a bad idea, right? And indeed it is.
We all complained, as we came across bug after bug, and somehow, I got appointed "Bug Coordinator." Meaning that all complaints about the nogoodnik program are now funnelled through me to tech support. Most of the answers we've been getting to complaints are in the range of "oh, yeah, that's a problem, hopefully it will be better in the next version," or "Wow! We've never seen that one before!" It's pretty frustrating.
Yesterday, I finally spoke with someone there who seems a bit sympathetic to our cause. This afternoon, he suggested that I join an online forum that they have, which might have some helpful information. It seemed like a good plan, and so I decided to sign up.
I filled in my name, email, position, and so on, and eventually got to a drop-down list where I was asked to fill in my "user group." Now, living in Israel, I'm quite used to not having any relevant options on these kinds of lists. Here, especially, it looked at first glance like a list of various United States. When I saw that there wasn't an "other" option at either the top or bottom, I decided to just read it through once, to be sure. Who knows, maybe Jerusalem would be there?
It looked pretty normal, until I got to this one:
Eh? Pirates on the Bay? What is that supposed to be? And a few lines below, Redwood Empire? Who are these guys?
Whatever, no Jerusalem, or even Tel Aviv, so I moved on. I clicked "accept" quite a few times, and eventually got to this wacky, wacky box:
Wow. Right?
And, if I did fit into any of those groups, which I really really do not, but if I did, and I so obviously posed such a severe threat to global security, do they really think that this nutty box is the thing that would stop me?
Bizarre.
Anyway, please check out these links to well written articles, if you have a chance. And send some good karma our way!
http://www.therazor.org/?p=1269 (I like the effect of the US map here)
http://imshin.net/?p=996
http://www.danielgordis.org/Site/Site_ViewDispatches.asp?id=22
http://www.michaeltotten.com/archives/2009/01/the-israeli-way.php
Well, we're going to be having fun with family for the next week or so, in honor of our apparently twelve year old daughter's Bat Mitzva . Until I return, here's the latest edition of "Haveil Havalim," the weekly Jewish and Israeli blog carnival. This one starts off with a cool video - check it out!
Have a great holiday, everyone!
Well, folks, I'm sorry I've been gone so long, but I have a good excuse - I unexpectedly (to say the least) had my appendix removed last week! The recovery-from-surgery pain has been a lot more difficult than the actual appendicitis pain, but yes, I do understand and appreciate that it was important to have done. I did try hard to find a funny sign while I was in the hospital, but the best I could find was a "what to do in case of earthquake" poster in the Emergency Room. That wasn't actually funny, just seemed like not the mostly likely emergency to prepare for in a Jerusalem hospital... Anyway, I'm going back there for a check-up on Monday, maybe I'll have more luck then.
At any rate, today is my first day of feeling a bit human, and so I thought the least I could do is to share a funny photo that my good friend Rachel found on the BBC website, here:
So, you probably don't think that's very funny. Unless you can read and understand Welsh. Turns out, the "translation" below the English means, "I am not in the office at the moment. Send any work to be translated."
Ha! The link to the original article, again, is here - read until the end, there are other funny examples of past sign blunders!
