Happy Birthday To Me!

I've almost written a post here so many times, I can't even count them all. I had finally found some free time, and then we suddenly were in the middle of a war, and it seemed a wee bit inappropriate. And then, just as suddenly, the war was over! Maybe. And then it was Chanuka... 

Well, there will always be things going on that seem more important that blogging, and maybe they are. But today was my birthday! And so I've decided to give myself a gift of 12 minutes to write a post. Here, from me to you, are some (really old) typos from the Holy Land. Get ready! But remember, these were sent to me back in 2011... I do hope to catch up on all of my old material soon, so we can move on to some current items! Fortunately, these don't spoil with time :)

First up, as seen on the Modiin-chat list, courtesy of my best friend Rach. Just out of curiosity, how many months does your baby have? And - am I the only one here made a little bit nervous by the initial MUMMY!!!!!! shriek here? Are we being alerted to a monster attack?


That is one convincing ad. Maybe it was the chug of music that got to me, I'm not sure. I don't know about you guys, but I am totally going to call soon and make my reservation!!!!!!

Here's a fancy tabletop feature, submitted to me by both Dave and my good friend Dena. It turns out that the nice people at Cafe Hillel have decided to treat their friends in the theater business with the high level of service that they so deserve:

But if you're not a certified costumer, don't you even *try* to push any of those those buttons. No cheating, now!

Here's another funny item from Dave. This bird observatory is located very nearby to his office:

I think that they were going for "hideaway." I'm not even sure how I would have better translated this sign, but this option clearly does not work.

And last but not least (since this has surprisingly taken a few more than my self-allotted 12 minutes) here's one more from Dave. He really was on a roll back in 2011:

Okay, so for those of you unfamiliar with the Hebrew here, the word bad (pronounced bod) means cloth. This is a textiles shop. But their version seems to be a deep statement about our world, don't you think? Good be good, and bad, well, bad be bad. 

As always, I'll be linking on Wednesday to Lesley's fun meme, Signs, Signs. Go check it out, if you'd like a well-rounded view of the world through signage :)
That's all for now, folks. Have a great day! Hope to see you back here soon! 

I'm back!

Here's hoping it goes better than this:

Hello, hello! It's been too long, I know :) How are you all doing, my fine readers?

I've wanted to post for so long, and life has just been getting the better of me - but a few people recently sent me all sorts of funny things, and I decided that that's that. That that's that? Yes! And so, I've decided to jump back into my old blogger self. Here goes!

First up, from my friend Rach and her boss Nathan: the very latest in ice cold summer treats. But wait a second - I should preface by mentioning that here in Israel, we have an issue with crêpes. By that I mean that generally, printed Hebrew has no vowels, and so the word crêpe often looks blatantly to be, well, crap. (A great example of this can be seen at the end of this post.) This technically is no one's fault, it's not deliberate, and not terribly avoidable, but still quite funny to most English speakers. Anyway, with that in mind: Rach was driving to work one morning, and found that evidently, the new summer special at cafe Ilan is none other than - get ready for it - Crappaccino!

Feel free to click on this, if you'd like a closer view! Nathan pointed out that since the little circle says "only natural ingredients, we should be relieved... or should we?

Thanks, guys!

Next up, this one is from our friend Yonina, who got it from her friend Naava. Here's a great example of our classic Israeli blooper:

This is a flyer that was printed by Israelis, for Israelis. They didn't need to write the word stamps, there's a perfectly good word for stamps, chotamot, and it's right there on the flyer, next to this atrocity. So why did they decide to translate this one word? I think it's because the running theory has always been that if it's got some English on it, it looks cool and professional, worldly even. And why didn't they think to check their spelling with a dictionary, or an English speaking friend, or just plain old Google? This flyer is from Beit Shemesh, Lord knows there are one or two English speakers there... but why? Because there's just no need, everyone here knows perfect English already, it's so easy...

Fantastic find - thanks so much, Yonina and Naava!

Next up, from my friend Yair, at work. This is actually a sign that I had heard about from a few people in my neighborhood - it appeared very briefly not far from my house during some road work, over a year ago. By the time I got to the scene, it had already been taken down. But apparently Yair got there in time! Check this out - but again, this blooper is in the Hebrew:

For those of you who can't read Hebrew, the "bumpy" here has been transliterated, instead of translated. This is really absurd, and I was a bit perplexed as to how it had happened, until Yair enlightened me - he said that the Arabic here is perfect, and so it's obvious (to him, at least) that the guy making the sign spoke Arabic and English, but not Hebrew... and so he wrote HaKvish Bahmpy, figuring that it would work out. Interesting, right? Like I said, it was only up for a couple of days before it was taken down...

Thanks, Yair!

And lastly, here's something that I happened across today while waiting in line in the pharmacy. Now it's true, I don't much care for bananas, so maybe that's why this seems so unappealing to me. What do you all think? Is it just me?

Yuck!

That's all for now, folks! I hereby promise to try and post more than once every five months. And thanks to all of you who have been sending me photos this whole time! I really do appreciate it, and hope to post them, speedily in our days!

Have a great day all,

Toby

Hmm. What's a funny title with the word saloon?

Hello, all of you! How have you been? 

Before we get to the funny signs, I just have to thank Mirj from Miriyummy, who interviewed me and made me totally famous! I'm just so honored and excited! For anyone who hasn't yet seen the interview, it's right here. Thanks so much, Mirj!

And so, it's fitting that we begin with these signs, that Mirj herself found, quite a few months ago. She came across them while in a restaurant in Jaffa, and was kind enough to send them on to me. Wowee, buckle up:

Mirj told me that she resisted ordering the mus :)

We once found ourselves in a sushi restaurant that spelled the word wine three different ways on the same menu, but they were scattered around in different locations on the menu - these versions of chicken are so close to each other, it seems somehow even worse. And look at all the rest! Why am I suddenly thinking of IAMS, isn't that a brand of dog food? I have a very bad feeling that the lamb is spelled that way because someone accidentally hit caps lock... oy oy oy.

Thanks so much for these gems!

Next up, from my good buddy Dave, who found this while walking around Jerusalem:

I really wish people would stop making fun of Americans. I personally am going to do my part by posting this, and not saying a word :)

Thanks, Dave!

Third up for the day, this just in from new Olah Rachel B, who kindly forwarded this funky potty package to me:

There's so much to say here, I don't know where to begin. I like how we're encouraged to try it out, as if we should open it up in the store aisle and see how it feels. I like that this company is abreast of the times! I like that Closestool rhymes with Playskool. And on and on and on... Thanks so much, Rachel! Sorry it took so long to post, and I hope you'll send more awesome bloopers when you find them! Note that I didn't say if you find them... :)

Here's an amazing amazing flyer sent in to me by Dana, another first-time submitter. This is just wonderful, get ready!

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness. Wow! There are so many funny things here, although my favorite is definitely the groping singles. I wonder if their new assistant will be able to help them out with proofreading?

Thanks, Dana!

And lastly, why am I posting today, of all days? Because when I picked up the mail this evening, I found this, and decided that I could wait no longer:

I saw this and started laughing out loud. My family thought that I was a little bit crazy. And then I saw that there was an accompanying magnet, with the same thing that had just cracked me up.

Do you see it? Do you see it? That bit about the saloon? Oh, man, there's just no end - I've got cowboys with curlers in my head now...

Naturally, I'm posting this to Signs, Signs, Lesley's fun meme. Go on over there, if you'd like to see more signage from all over the world, most more elegant and artistic than mine :)

Have a wonderful week, everyone - thanks for stopping by!

Perfect for your Shocking Stockings!

I miss this blog! I just stopped by to quickly post this gem that Rachel sent me, a long time ago. And as for the rest of you who were kind enough to send me something a long time ago, please don't give up hope! It's all saved and lined up to be shared, any second now... I really do appreciate all the wonderful things that you find for me and take the time to send! It's just that sometimes my real-life life gets the better of my fun-online-life :)

Anyway, on to the good stuff! Check this out:

It took me a couple of times to read through and find all the funny things in there. But there are a bunch - take a look! Which is your favorite? I like the idea that they expect you to launder a suit in this 40x50 centimeter bag, but I'm also quite attached to those sthocking underwears. Underwears! 

Definitely my 21th favorite is trying to pronounce 21th :)

Thanks, Rachel! And thanks all of you for coming by - I'll try to post again soon!

(Don't forget to check out Lesley's fun meme, Signs, Signs, to see signage from all over the world. Have fun!)