Funny Signs Before You

Well, we're all settling back into life here in Israel. That fabled time of the year called acharei hachagim (after the Holidays) has descended upon us, and we're expected to begin living productive lives once again. 


And so I thought I'd carry on sharing some treasures with you that have been building up in my inbox, just waiting anxiously to be posted. Thanks to all my faithful spies, who found these for me all over the country! Let's start with this one from Yoel, who found this sign in Jerusalem:

I sneakily blocked out the name here, so as not to further embarrass this person of great importance. If you're looking for a rabinical lowyer, he's your guy! It doesn't get any lower than this, folks. Contact Yoel if you need more information :)


Next up, from Micha, who has been contributing quite the lion's share of funny signs. Here's one he found in his hotel room in Eilat:

Just read that one more time, carefully... hah! How much does the phone's room usually charge? Is this actually a deal? Thanks, Micha!


Here's one from my good friend Rachel, who found this wonderful piece of cookware:

That's amazing! I know that I love a hot bowl of fried dish soup as much as the next guy. And with this pot, I'd never have to wait! I'm just saying, my birthday isn't that far away... thanks, Rach!


And last for now, here's one taken by me! Remember me?
:)
Here in Efrat, we've been blessed with some local road construction. The powers that be took a very dangerous intersection and made it far safer, and although this made getting around quite tricky for awhile, I for one am grateful for the final product. Anyway, these signs can now be seen around our area:

Before you, do you see that? This is a great example of Heblish, that new language that our children speak so well, and that is helpfully translated for us by Mrs. S., of Our Shiputzim fame. This sign doesn't mean before you, it means ahead. But the sign guy doesn't speak English, so how should he know? And anyway, no one really reads the English on these signs anyway, especially not in Gush Etzion, so there's no need to proofread...


Ha! What a great week this was! Thanks everyone, for your contributions, and for stopping by! Happy Acharei haChagim to you all!

Way back when

In my continuing attempt to catch up, here are some funny signs that were sent to me. How about I just don't tell you how long ago they were sent to me :)


Micha, who has found many funny items for us over the years, has now recruited his grandfather as a new foreign correspondent for A Time of the Signs. Here's a doozy he found for us, all the way in Berlin!

Micha aptly asked: you mean if we are thin enough to qualify for one?
Thanks for thinking of me, guys!


And lucky me, I have another new foreign correspondent - my dear brother in law Andy found this on his printer paper, all the way in Rochester, New York. The small print is important on this one, so feel free to click on the photo if you need to enlarge it!

Wow, and I thought I was indecisive! Thanks, Andy!


There's an Israeli FAIL bloopers site that I really enjoy called Keshel. Most of the things they post are funny for Hebrew speakers only, but they found this, and I totally can't resist sharing it with you all! Spotted at the Candyland shop, right here in Israel:

Ah, that's the stuff :)


And lastly (for now) my dedicated husband (the Balashon) found this for me while walking through the streets of Jerusalem. 

I remember back in grammar school, we were often given English quizzes with poorly built sentences. They were full of capitalization and punctuation errors, and we were supposed to correct them. Truthfully, I haven't thought of those things for years, and yet somehow, looking at this sign, I'm instantly swept 25 years back in time... is it just me?


That's all for now, folks - have a great Sukkot! And for those of you not celebrating Sukkot, have a great week anyway!

It's been too long!

I miss you guys! It's been a long, wonderful summer, but I want to blog again! And so, now that my life has been slowly calming down, I've decided to rearrange my schedule and make time for funny signs once again. Thanks to all of you, my virtual fans, for waiting patiently!


And so, with no further ado - here goes!


Do you all know Dina, my fellow Israeli blogger? She takes beautiful, insightful and interesting photos all around the Jerusalem area - you should check out her blog, if you haven't already! Anyway, she found this excellent, ridiculous specimen in Tel Aviv at the beginning of the summer (see her post for more details):

That really is just gorgeous - what a tremendously fancy typo! I'm pretty sure that even putting bon voyage here is inappropriate - I don't think that people leaving the fair are going on a voyage per se. But they certainly aren't going on a vayage! Thanks for thinking of me, Dina! 


My dear husband found this bizarre, bizarre sign for me while walking through Jerusalem. Buckle up:

Is it just us? Is yummy really the feeling they're looking to invoke?


And just to make us feel better about Israeli bloopers - Micha found this for me while he was vacationing in New York City! For shame, NYC, for shame...

That one's actually a little tricky - do you see it? Good eye, Micha!


Thanks so much, all of you - tune in again soon for more! Shana Tova, everyone - have a sweet and wonderful new year!

Bring me some Roasted Egplanet!

Micha has brought us a zinger! He went to Pizza Sababa in Jerusalem, and was kind enough to photograph their wonderful, wonderful menu. Take a look for yourselves! (And feel free to click on the photos, if you'd like to enlarge them.)

This is just so wonderfully entertaining - thank you, Micha! As seen in the title of this post, my definite favorite is the Egplanet - but there are just so many to choose from! And look closely - quite a few of these aren't typos, but just ridiculous mistranslations. Would you like some Home Dough, with a glass of Natural? Ah, I love it - how many bloopers can you find?


As always, I'm posting this to Lesley's meme, Signs, Signs. Have a great week, everyone!

Need a decongestant?

I have a few online friends who have supplied me with tremendous finds over the years. When I first started this blog, almost every one of the bloopers I posted had been found in person by me! But the fact is, having spies all over the country (and world, for that matter) makes this a lot easier. And it creates a sense of community - I feel like I'm giving people who feel the way I do about typos a place to vent :)


Anyway, one of my very first posts-by-correspondent was from Mirj, who lives in Raanana and has an excellent eye for these things. I'm grateful for all of her help over the years - just search my blog for Mirj, and you'll see that there are quite a few entries :) And she's come through for us again - bigger and better than before. Just look at what she found oozing in the freezer section at her local grocery store!

For those of you who can't read the Hebrew, that was translated from Frozen Goose Ribs. There may be a better way to say Goose Ribs, but I'm fairly sure that it isn't Chest Gooze...


Yich! As Mirj so aptly said, this sounds like a phlegmy chest infection. And if the meat is from Belgium, then a Flemmy chest infection... what could I possibly add? Thanks, Mirj!


She now has a blog of her own which is far more impressive than mine - it's a fantastic source for great stories and yummy recipes - you should check it out at your soonest convenience, if you haven't already!


Oh, and I'll post this (naturally) to Lesley's weekly meme, Signs, Signs. It's a fun place to look if you'd like to see interesting signage from all over the world! Have a great week, everyone!

A little help from my friends - once again

You know, growing up as a nerdy little kid, I really never expected to have fans of any kind. And now, lucky me, people from all over Israel (and all over the world, for that matter) keep sending me goofy typos that they've come across. I can never decide whether or not it's a good thing that people think of me when faced with bad grammar and ridiculous signage, but it is what it is. I've decided to accept it as a positive thing! And it makes me feel good to know that I'm not the only one who notices this stuff... :)

And so, with no further ado, here are some interesting items that I've received. First up is from Daniela, who reviews Israeli food products on her blog - always helpful! She found this at KFC in the Malcha mall in Jerusalem:

When I put patates into Google Translate (our favorite website - check out here why it's even cooler than we thought) it popped up as the Turkish word for potatoes. I'm pretty sure that it's the same thing in French, which makes sense here, but it definitely is not English. Hey - maybe the whole thing is French? That would actually be pretty progressive. Whatever, this looked like a mess to Daniela, and I'm inclined to agree. Thanks for sending it in!

Second - here's another gem from Mirj, my longtime reader and online pal. She had a culinary adventure right around Valentine's Day, and found this funky sign in the restaurant bathroom:

Thankfully, she had her camera handy. I love this sign - thanks, Mirj!

And lastly, here are two funny search pop-ups from my dear husband, the Balashon:

A sad, sad commentary on our world. But if you think that's bad, try this one:

Why, yes, I did mean doogle dots, that's exactly what we were looking for! However did you guess?

Thanks, everyone - keep these coming! 

Oh, and for more sign photography, check out Lesley's meme right now, at Signs, Signs. Have a great day, everyone!

Be my, be my baby!!

Here's an email posted to our local community chat group a little while ago. Maybe we should call the police?

Is it just me? Maybe it's just me. But hey - it's my blog - so I'm posting it anyway :)

I'm posting this to Lesley's meme, Signs, Signs. Go right now if you'd like to check out more cool signage from all over the world!

Have a great week, everyone!