15 December, 2012

Happy Birthday To Me!

I've almost written a post here so many times, I can't even count them all. I had finally found some free time, and then we suddenly were in the middle of a war, and it seemed a wee bit inappropriate. And then, just as suddenly, the war was over! Maybe. And then it was Chanuka... 

Well, there will always be things going on that seem more important that blogging, and maybe they are. But today was my birthday! And so I've decided to give myself a gift of 12 minutes to write a post. Here, from me to you, are some (really old) typos from the Holy Land. Get ready! But remember, these were sent to me back in 2011... I do hope to catch up on all of my old material soon, so we can move on to some current items! Fortunately, these don't spoil with time :)

First up, as seen on the Modiin-chat list, courtesy of my best friend Rach. Just out of curiosity, how many months does your baby have? And - am I the only one here made a little bit nervous by the initial MUMMY!!!!!! shriek here? Are we being alerted to a monster attack?


That is one convincing ad. Maybe it was the chug of music that got to me, I'm not sure. I don't know about you guys, but I am totally going to call soon and make my reservation!!!!!!

Here's a fancy tabletop feature, submitted to me by both Dave and my good friend Dena. It turns out that the nice people at Cafe Hillel have decided to treat their friends in the theater business with the high level of service that they so deserve:
But if you're not a certified costumer, don't you even *try* to push any of those those buttons. No cheating, now!

Here's another funny item from Dave. This bird observatory is located very nearby to his office:

I think that they were going for "hideaway." I'm not even sure how I would have better translated this sign, but this option clearly does not work.

And last but not least (since this has surprisingly taken a few more than my self-allotted 12 minutes) here's one more from Dave. He really was on a roll back in 2011:


Okay, so for those of you unfamiliar with the Hebrew here, the word bad (pronounced bod) means cloth. This is a textiles shop. But their version seems to be a deep statement about our world, don't you think? Good be good, and bad, well, bad be bad. 

As always, I'll be linking on Wednesday to Lesley's fun meme, Signs, Signs. Go check it out, if you'd like a well-rounded view of the world through signage :)
That's all for now, folks. Have a great day! Hope to see you back here soon! 

30 July, 2012

I'm back!

Here's hoping it goes better than this:


Hello, hello! It's been too long, I know :) How are you all doing, my fine readers?

I've wanted to post for so long, and life has just been getting the better of me - but a few people recently sent me all sorts of funny things, and I decided that that's that. That that's that? Yes! And so, I've decided to jump back into my old blogger self. Here goes!

First up, from my friend Rach and her boss Nathan: the very latest in ice cold summer treats. But wait a second - I should preface by mentioning that here in Israel, we have an issue with crêpes. By that I mean that generally, printed Hebrew has no vowels, and so the word crêpe often looks blatantly to be, well, crap. (A great example of this can be seen at the end of this post.) This technically is no one's fault, it's not deliberate, and not terribly avoidable, but still quite funny to most English speakers. Anyway, with that in mind: Rach was driving to work one morning, and found that evidently, the new summer special at cafe Ilan is none other than - get ready for it - Crappaccino!

Feel free to click on this, if you'd like a closer view! Nathan pointed out that since the little circle says "only natural ingredients, we should be relieved... or should we?

Thanks, guys!

Next up, this one is from our friend Yonina, who got it from her friend Naava. Here's a great example of our classic Israeli blooper:


This is a flyer that was printed by Israelis, for Israelis. They didn't need to write the word stamps, there's a perfectly good word for stamps, chotamot, and it's right there on the flyer, next to this atrocity. So why did they decide to translate this one word? I think it's because the running theory has always been that if it's got some English on it, it looks cool and professional, worldly even. And why didn't they think to check their spelling with a dictionary, or an English speaking friend, or just plain old Google? This flyer is from Beit Shemesh, Lord knows there are one or two English speakers there... but why? Because there's just no need, everyone here knows perfect English already, it's so easy...

Fantastic find - thanks so much, Yonina and Naava!

Next up, from my friend Yair, at work. This is actually a sign that I had heard about from a few people in my neighborhood - it appeared very briefly not far from my house during some road work, over a year ago. By the time I got to the scene, it had already been taken down. But apparently Yair got there in time! Check this out - but again, this blooper is in the Hebrew:

For those of you who can't read Hebrew, the "bumpy" here has been transliterated, instead of translated. This is really absurd, and I was a bit perplexed as to how it had happened, until Yair enlightened me - he said that the Arabic here is perfect, and so it's obvious (to him, at least) that the guy making the sign spoke Arabic and English, but not Hebrew... and so he wrote HaKvish Bahmpy, figuring that it would work out. Interesting, right? Like I said, it was only up for a couple of days before it was taken down...

Thanks, Yair!

And lastly, here's something that I happened across today while waiting in line in the pharmacy. Now it's true, I don't much care for bananas, so maybe that's why this seems so unappealing to me. What do you all think? Is it just me?

Yuck!

That's all for now, folks! I hereby promise to try and post more than once every five months. And thanks to all of you who have been sending me photos this whole time! I really do appreciate it, and hope to post them, speedily in our days!

Have a great day all,
Toby

23 February, 2012

Hmm. What's a funny title with the word saloon?

Hello, all of you! How have you been? 

Before we get to the funny signs, I just have to thank Mirj from Miriyummy, who interviewed me and made me totally famous! I'm just so honored and excited! For anyone who hasn't yet seen the interview, it's right here. Thanks so much, Mirj!

And so, it's fitting that we begin with these signs, that Mirj herself found, quite a few months ago. She came across them while in a restaurant in Jaffa, and was kind enough to send them on to me. Wowee, buckle up:


Mirj told me that she resisted ordering the mus :)

We once found ourselves in a sushi restaurant that spelled the word wine three different ways on the same menu, but they were scattered around in different locations on the menu - these versions of chicken are so close to each other, it seems somehow even worse. And look at all the rest! Why am I suddenly thinking of IAMS, isn't that a brand of dog food? I have a very bad feeling that the lamb is spelled that way because someone accidentally hit caps lock... oy oy oy.

Thanks so much for these gems!

Next up, from my good buddy Dave, who found this while walking around Jerusalem:

I really wish people would stop making fun of Americans. I personally am going to do my part by posting this, and not saying a word :)

Thanks, Dave!

Third up for the day, this just in from new Olah Rachel B, who kindly forwarded this funky potty package to me:

There's so much to say here, I don't know where to begin. I like how we're encouraged to try it out, as if we should open it up in the store aisle and see how it feels. I like that this company is abreast of the times! I like that Closestool rhymes with Playskool. And on and on and on... Thanks so much, Rachel! Sorry it took so long to post, and I hope you'll send more awesome bloopers when you find them! Note that I didn't say if you find them... :)

Here's an amazing amazing flyer sent in to me by Dana, another first-time submitter. This is just wonderful, get ready!


Oh my goodness, oh my goodness. Wow! There are so many funny things here, although my favorite is definitely the groping singles. I wonder if their new assistant will be able to help them out with proofreading?

Thanks, Dana!

And lastly, why am I posting today, of all days? Because when I picked up the mail this evening, I found this, and decided that I could wait no longer:

I saw this and started laughing out loud. My family thought that I was a little bit crazy. And then I saw that there was an accompanying magnet, with the same thing that had just cracked me up.

Do you see it? Do you see it? That bit about the saloon? Oh, man, there's just no end - I've got cowboys with curlers in my head now...

Naturally, I'm posting this to Signs, Signs, Lesley's fun meme. Go on over there, if you'd like to see more signage from all over the world, most more elegant and artistic than mine :)

Have a wonderful week, everyone - thanks for stopping by!

18 January, 2012

Perfect for your Shocking Stockings!


I miss this blog! I just stopped by to quickly post this gem that Rachel sent me, a long time ago. And as for the rest of you who were kind enough to send me something a long time ago, please don't give up hope! It's all saved and lined up to be shared, any second now... I really do appreciate all the wonderful things that you find for me and take the time to send! It's just that sometimes my real-life life gets the better of my fun-online-life :)

Anyway, on to the good stuff! Check this out:

It took me a couple of times to read through and find all the funny things in there. But there are a bunch - take a look! Which is your favorite? I like the idea that they expect you to launder a suit in this 40x50 centimeter bag, but I'm also quite attached to those sthocking underwears. Underwears! 

Definitely my 21th favorite is trying to pronounce 21th :)

Thanks, Rachel! And thanks all of you for coming by - I'll try to post again soon!

(Don't forget to check out Lesley's fun meme, Signs, Signs, to see signage from all over the world. Have fun!)

21 December, 2011

Happy Chanuka!

It's here at last - Happy Chanuka! Even before my eldest daughter was born on the first night of Chanuka, I think that it always was my favorite holiday. I mean, how wrong can you go when fried potatoes are your flagship food? Mmm, mm.


Anyway, I found myself a spare minute, so I'd like to quickly share two wonderful holiday bloopers. First up, this absolutely unbelievable one, from my good friend Dena!




That can't be real - they must be taking the mickey out of us :) I've lived here for almost half my life, but some things still shock me. This, for example! Thanks so much, Dena!


And, sent in completely separately by her son Micha, here's another excellent holiday specimen:




Erm... it may be extraordinarily priced, but yeah, I think I'll pass on that dreidel.
Thanks, Micha!


Fantastic finds, both! Have a wonderful, wonderful Chanuka, everyone! 


Oh, and of course I'll post this to Lesley's weekly meme, Signs, Signs. See you there!

05 December, 2011

A little more catching up

Well well, it's been a while! Time is flying by, Chanuka is almost upon us, but it's important to stop every so often and make time for some ridiculous signs. And we are blessed with lots of them! For example....


Dave found this one for me, can you see it? Feel free to click on the photo, if you'd like a closer view:
I like mash potatoes, but I *love* root beer! Oh, but wait, this isn't exactly root beer - what does that say? And anyway, after living here for as long as I have, I know that they're just teasing me. Black Beer, as this would be directly translated from the Hebrew, has nothing to do with Root Beer at all. It's some kind of malt thing, in an entirely different beverage category. Ah, what I wouldn't give for a root beer float! My birthday is coming up, people...


Dave also grabbed this one, while walking through Jerusalem:
This is just a typo, it doesn't have any particularly ridiculous alternate meanings, but it's the size of the thing that gets me. This sign is taller than I am - it cost someone an awful lot of money! You'd think that they'd want to just check once that it didn't have any mistakes, wouldn't you? No, I guess not. I mean, no one really reads the English anyway, right? It's just for show... and to give me blogging material! Thanks, Dave!


Next up, this one is from Gidon:
This one might not seem funny to those of you who aren't familiar with religious Jewish studies, but for the rest of us, it's just absurd. This sign says "HaNetziv" in Hebrew. The Netziv was a brilliant scholar, and well deserving of having his name on a street or two, not to mention a Kibbutz! And yet, in the one country in the world that should recognize his name, they went and called him the Netzuv. Sheesh. Thanks for bringing this one, Gidon!


This one was found for me by two separate friends, Yaffa and Meira. It's really nutty, buckle up:


I don't even know where to start with this one. Well, I guess we can start at the beginning - perhaps they were trying to say mind blowing
:)
This one borders on being as bad as those signs that people find in China. Unbelievable! I whish I had more of them... Thanks, Yaffa and Meira!


Here's one that our friend Nizan found:
In related news, I'm pretty sure that these machines are on their way to becoming illegal, so one way or another, the government is stepping in to remove this ridiculous typo from our streets! Thank you, Bibi! And thanks, Nizan!


A long, long time ago, Mirj found a huge typo for me in Raanana. At the time, we thought it was just silly - but now I'm thinking that it's possible that it's just how they spell coming in Raanana - maybe it's actually a dialect thing?
Thanks, Mirj!


And last for now, here's something I found right here, on our local Efrat-chat list:


Ah, that's the stuff. I've got nothing to add, folks - just have a great day, my treat! And a happy holiday season to all of us!


Oh, and for more interesting signage from all over the world, feel free to check out Lesley's blog, Signs, Signs. You'll be glad you went!

30 October, 2011

Funny Signs Before You

Well, we're all settling back into life here in Israel. That fabled time of the year called acharei hachagim (after the Holidays) has descended upon us, and we're expected to begin living productive lives once again. 


And so I thought I'd carry on sharing some treasures with you that have been building up in my inbox, just waiting anxiously to be posted. Thanks to all my faithful spies, who found these for me all over the country! Let's start with this one from Yoel, who found this sign in Jerusalem:




I sneakily blocked out the name here, so as not to further embarrass this person of great importance. If you're looking for a rabinical lowyer, he's your guy! It doesn't get any lower than this, folks. Contact Yoel if you need more information :)


Next up, from Micha, who has been contributing quite the lion's share of funny signs. Here's one he found in his hotel room in Eilat:




Just read that one more time, carefully... hah! How much does the phone's room usually charge? Is this actually a deal? Thanks, Micha!


Here's one from my good friend Rachel, who found this wonderful piece of cookware:



That's amazing! I know that I love a hot bowl of fried dish soup as much as the next guy. And with this pot, I'd never have to wait! I'm just saying, my birthday isn't that far away... thanks, Rach!


And last for now, here's one taken by me! Remember me?
:)
Here in Efrat, we've been blessed with some local road construction. The powers that be took a very dangerous intersection and made it far safer, and although this made getting around quite tricky for awhile, I for one am grateful for the final product. Anyway, these signs can now be seen around our area:


Before you, do you see that? This is a great example of Heblish, that new language that our children speak so well, and that is helpfully translated for us by Mrs. S., of Our Shiputzim fame. This sign doesn't mean before you, it means ahead. But the sign guy doesn't speak English, so how should he know? And anyway, no one really reads the English on these signs anyway, especially not in Gush Etzion, so there's no need to proofread...


Ha! What a great week this was! Thanks everyone, for your contributions, and for stopping by! Happy Acharei haChagim to you all!