25 November, 2014

The latest mix...

Winter is upon us, and there's nothing like some funny signs to go with your hot cocoa. I'm still pulling things out from my 2011-2012 emails, believe it or not... 

First up today: this gem, found by Micha. Perhaps it's some kind of pet control device? Are dogrings available as well?
Thanks, Micha!

Here's a bizarre sign that Dave found, directed at any characters who wanted to park in this lot:
But how do they judge your character? Seems pretty complicated to me. Thanks, Dave!

Looking through those old emails, it appears that the city of Modi'in was having a particularly hard time with English back in early 2012. First, this was found, by our friend Ari:
Huh? What? But before we could spend much effort trying to decipher that one, this was found elsewhere in the same city by my friend Rachel!
And just at the same time, my friend Dena found this on Anglodeals - also in Modi'in! Truly bizarre, I hope things have improved since :)

Evidently that was meant to be blueberry... Thanks, Ari, Rach and Dena!

Oh - one more from the archives, before we move on - here's this strange, strange translation, found by our friend Aaron, while riding the train:
Just to make it clear, the direct translation here is: 
In Case of Emergency! Pull the handle, 
Wait for the train to stop,
Move the door sideways to open.
Penalty for misuse.

So - huh? How did they get to pushing leaves?? 
Thanks, Aaron!

And now, for some more recent finds :)

My virtual friend Dina found this in the Be'er Sheva train station:
That's a cute translation - somehow I've got images of trains wearing sneakers in my head now :)

My friend Brie shared this gorgeous, gorgeous typo on facebook this afternoon:
This one will be funnier for Hebrew speakers. The word for surf in Hebrew has the root G-L-SH, which is similar enough to goulash, apparently, to cause this ridiculous situation :) Thanks, Brie!

And last but certainly not least, for today: my friend Naomi found this and shared it with me moments before I happened to be headed to the grocery store, so naturally, when I got there, I searched it out and grabbed a photo :)
It's hard enough for people who move here to get used to saying soup almonds instead of soup nuts, now we've got soap nuts? Maybe it's just me, but that does not sound appetizing. The world has just gone mad, that's all I can say :) Thanks so much, Naomi!

That's all for now, folks! As always, I'm sharing this with Lesley, over at her weekly meme, called Signs, Signs. Oh, and a quick public service message - my brother has started a really funny and quite delicious blog, called The Awesome Sauce Kitchen. He's off to a great start - go and check him out!

Happy Thanksgiving to all, and here's hoping for a wet winter here in Israel - see you again soon!

02 October, 2014

Happy New Year!

Well, we're in between Rosh HaShana and Yom Kipur, that special time of year where we try to act on our best behavior, in order to convince God that we're worthy of living another year. And how better to do that than by posting more funny signs? Not only will I fulfill my promise to post every two weeks or so, I also get to amuse the masses at the same time. Buckle up!

First in line today: this is something that I actually posted this week on my pretty photoblog. My family and I found it on all the lawns in front of Buckingham Palace, on our brief layover there, this past summer:

At first we were surprised at the typo - not only in England, the land of proper English, but around the actual palace, seemingly a highly important, much seen area. And then it occurred to me that perhaps this is a British expression? Like "take care of the grass," you know, that kind of thing. I was so pleased to give them the benefit of the doubt, but I'm sorry to say that all the British people I've asked confirmed that this is indeed a blooper. Oh, well. Then again, if they can do it, I don't need to feel as badly when Israelis do things like this:

That brilliant one was spotted by my ever-alert husband on Facebook - it was posted by Avi Shekhtman. Thanks so much, Avi, for letting me use this! I'll be sure to keep my popcorn away from your face :)

Here's something that Yonina found a few years ago - particularly appropriate for our upcoming Yom Kipur:

During the year, that makes a little less sense - this water is confused. Are you prohibited, or for drinking? Thanks, Yonina!

If you're feeling topsy turvy, you're not the only one - here's a gem found by Deena, quite a while ago, in Malcha:

Even sadder - Deena pointed out that technically, the "up" there could be read "dn," leading to this ridiculous situation. Is that an excuse? Well, we'll forgive them, 'tis the season :)

Here's something that would get me to walk in the door - I'd do almost anything to be considered cool:
That one was from Debbie, who found it on Kanfei Nesharim, in Jerusalem. And my good friend Dena pointed out that the apostrophe in the Hebrew is in the wrong place, too - I knew something looked wonky over there :) Thanks, Debbie and Dena!

And as a finale, here's something I found at Hadassah's Mount Scopus hospital, just yesterday:
All of us who have tried typing documents in both Hebrew and English know that it's tricky to get the words to line up - sometimes they slide over inexplicably, and it's a little challenging to get it right. But - it can be done! And this is not a random document, it's a proper sign, paid for and hung all over the hospital! Really a pity that they couldn't afford a proofreader; I guess the cutbacks at Hadassah this past year went further than I had thought :)

That's it for now - thanks for dropping by! As always, I'll link to Lesley's blog, Signs, Signs. Here's to a wonderful New Year, and a meaningful, effective Yom Kipur to us all!

12 September, 2014

I did it!

Look at me - I said two weeks, and here I am :)

I'm going to open with this one that I found about a month ago - it actually shocked me. This is on the road from Gush Etsion, where I live, to Jerusalem. I've lived here since the summer of 2000. It *must* be a new sign, right? There's *no way* that it's been here this whole time, and I didn't notice? Here's hoping...

Here's a sign that I found back in - gulp - 2011! So nice, they wrote it twice:

Here's something that our friend Raffi found, many years ago. They may have been going for cheapness, but personally, I'd call this priceless :)

Here's something that our cousins Mark and Pat found a few years ago, when here in Israel for a visit. They were impressed, as was I, with the spaciousness of the mayonnaise:

Here's something that my dear Dave found at a takeout place that used to exist, here in Efrat:
That one is funny on a couple of levels - the "staffed" instead of "stuffed" is amusing, but the fact that they had no energy to write "grape leaves, onions, and cabbage" and just settled on "things" borders on hilarious :)

And last for today, this was spotted by Avital, a virtual friend of mine, who found it on the side of an Israeli garbage truck. Shame that they decided to skip the Hebrew altogether, I suppose they figured it's modern and cool to do English only - and what impressive English!

That's it for today, folks! Thanks for coming by - have a wonderful weekend!

Oh, and naturally I'll post this to Lesley's meme, Signs, Signs. How can I resist? :)

27 August, 2014

I remember back when I had a blog about funny signs...

ah, those were the days :)

First, I was just plain busy, and couldn't find the time. Then there was a war. Then I got busy again, and now there's been a whole other war! But through it all, people actually still send me funny typos and signs pretty often, and at this point, I have a backlog of a few years worth of material. So I figured, even if I don't have time to write proper posts, full of wit and cleverness, it's just a shame not to share these gems with you. Don't you agree? Quick, let's go, before there's another war...

With no further ado - here's a tiny sampling of what I have waiting for you. These are just the most recent ones that I have sitting in my inbox! My hope is to post this tonight, and then start blogging every other week. I've learned better than to make promises, but I'll really do the best I can! Thanks to all of you who haven't given up on me in the meantime, and still think of me when you see gigantic mistakes. I never could decide if that was a compliment or not :)

First up, from Michael Shore - this one is actually kind of poignant:

Here's an amazing one from Bruce Zivan. Hebrew speakers, see if you can figure them all out! It took me a little while... I find it perfect that they saved the best for last :)

This is a fabulous find from my dearmost Dave - the bloody beans seem to me to be the absolute best here, but there are an awful lot of things to chuckle at. Actually, looking at it again, there's almost nothing here that doesn't need a good fixing:

Here's a beauty from Brie Reich. This one is so basic and wonderful - it actually makes me feel like I could do this for the rest of my life and never run out of things to post :)

Here's something that was sent to me by Sharon, although she told me that photo credit goes to Riki Freudenstein. Sharon pointed out that the bear on the label matches the fur very nicely (although a brown bear would be even better!), and that even the Hebrew doesn't make too much sense. It could easily be read as "70% Pareve" which begs the question: is the other 30% meat or dairy?

And last for now, another one from Brie - this from just this morning! It's so sweet, who could possibly resist buying one of these?
Ah, that was a lot of fun - thanks for coming by!

Oh, just for the heck of it, I'll link here to Lesley's weekly meme, Signs, Signs

Here's hoping to see you again in another two weeks or so - meanwhile, keep smiling! Have a great day, all!

15 December, 2012

Happy Birthday To Me!

I've almost written a post here so many times, I can't even count them all. I had finally found some free time, and then we suddenly were in the middle of a war, and it seemed a wee bit inappropriate. And then, just as suddenly, the war was over! Maybe. And then it was Chanuka... 

Well, there will always be things going on that seem more important that blogging, and maybe they are. But today was my birthday! And so I've decided to give myself a gift of 12 minutes to write a post. Here, from me to you, are some (really old) typos from the Holy Land. Get ready! But remember, these were sent to me back in 2011... I do hope to catch up on all of my old material soon, so we can move on to some current items! Fortunately, these don't spoil with time :)

First up, as seen on the Modiin-chat list, courtesy of my best friend Rach. Just out of curiosity, how many months does your baby have? And - am I the only one here made a little bit nervous by the initial MUMMY!!!!!! shriek here? Are we being alerted to a monster attack?

That is one convincing ad. Maybe it was the chug of music that got to me, I'm not sure. I don't know about you guys, but I am totally going to call soon and make my reservation!!!!!!

Here's a fancy tabletop feature, submitted to me by both Dave and my good friend Dena. It turns out that the nice people at Cafe Hillel have decided to treat their friends in the theater business with the high level of service that they so deserve:
But if you're not a certified costumer, don't you even *try* to push any of those those buttons. No cheating, now!

Here's another funny item from Dave. This bird observatory is located very nearby to his office:

I think that they were going for "hideaway." I'm not even sure how I would have better translated this sign, but this option clearly does not work.

And last but not least (since this has surprisingly taken a few more than my self-allotted 12 minutes) here's one more from Dave. He really was on a roll back in 2011:

Okay, so for those of you unfamiliar with the Hebrew here, the word bad (pronounced bod) means cloth. This is a textiles shop. But their version seems to be a deep statement about our world, don't you think? Good be good, and bad, well, bad be bad. 

As always, I'll be linking on Wednesday to Lesley's fun meme, Signs, Signs. Go check it out, if you'd like a well-rounded view of the world through signage :)
That's all for now, folks. Have a great day! Hope to see you back here soon! 

30 July, 2012

I'm back!

Here's hoping it goes better than this:

Hello, hello! It's been too long, I know :) How are you all doing, my fine readers?

I've wanted to post for so long, and life has just been getting the better of me - but a few people recently sent me all sorts of funny things, and I decided that that's that. That that's that? Yes! And so, I've decided to jump back into my old blogger self. Here goes!

First up, from my friend Rach and her boss Nathan: the very latest in ice cold summer treats. But wait a second - I should preface by mentioning that here in Israel, we have an issue with crêpes. By that I mean that generally, printed Hebrew has no vowels, and so the word crêpe often looks blatantly to be, well, crap. (A great example of this can be seen at the end of this post.) This technically is no one's fault, it's not deliberate, and not terribly avoidable, but still quite funny to most English speakers. Anyway, with that in mind: Rach was driving to work one morning, and found that evidently, the new summer special at cafe Ilan is none other than - get ready for it - Crappaccino!

Feel free to click on this, if you'd like a closer view! Nathan pointed out that since the little circle says "only natural ingredients, we should be relieved... or should we?

Thanks, guys!

Next up, this one is from our friend Yonina, who got it from her friend Naava. Here's a great example of our classic Israeli blooper:

This is a flyer that was printed by Israelis, for Israelis. They didn't need to write the word stamps, there's a perfectly good word for stamps, chotamot, and it's right there on the flyer, next to this atrocity. So why did they decide to translate this one word? I think it's because the running theory has always been that if it's got some English on it, it looks cool and professional, worldly even. And why didn't they think to check their spelling with a dictionary, or an English speaking friend, or just plain old Google? This flyer is from Beit Shemesh, Lord knows there are one or two English speakers there... but why? Because there's just no need, everyone here knows perfect English already, it's so easy...

Fantastic find - thanks so much, Yonina and Naava!

Next up, from my friend Yair, at work. This is actually a sign that I had heard about from a few people in my neighborhood - it appeared very briefly not far from my house during some road work, over a year ago. By the time I got to the scene, it had already been taken down. But apparently Yair got there in time! Check this out - but again, this blooper is in the Hebrew:

For those of you who can't read Hebrew, the "bumpy" here has been transliterated, instead of translated. This is really absurd, and I was a bit perplexed as to how it had happened, until Yair enlightened me - he said that the Arabic here is perfect, and so it's obvious (to him, at least) that the guy making the sign spoke Arabic and English, but not Hebrew... and so he wrote HaKvish Bahmpy, figuring that it would work out. Interesting, right? Like I said, it was only up for a couple of days before it was taken down...

Thanks, Yair!

And lastly, here's something that I happened across today while waiting in line in the pharmacy. Now it's true, I don't much care for bananas, so maybe that's why this seems so unappealing to me. What do you all think? Is it just me?


That's all for now, folks! I hereby promise to try and post more than once every five months. And thanks to all of you who have been sending me photos this whole time! I really do appreciate it, and hope to post them, speedily in our days!

Have a great day all,

23 February, 2012

Hmm. What's a funny title with the word saloon?

Hello, all of you! How have you been? 

Before we get to the funny signs, I just have to thank Mirj from Miriyummy, who interviewed me and made me totally famous! I'm just so honored and excited! For anyone who hasn't yet seen the interview, it's right here. Thanks so much, Mirj!

And so, it's fitting that we begin with these signs, that Mirj herself found, quite a few months ago. She came across them while in a restaurant in Jaffa, and was kind enough to send them on to me. Wowee, buckle up:

Mirj told me that she resisted ordering the mus :)

We once found ourselves in a sushi restaurant that spelled the word wine three different ways on the same menu, but they were scattered around in different locations on the menu - these versions of chicken are so close to each other, it seems somehow even worse. And look at all the rest! Why am I suddenly thinking of IAMS, isn't that a brand of dog food? I have a very bad feeling that the lamb is spelled that way because someone accidentally hit caps lock... oy oy oy.

Thanks so much for these gems!

Next up, from my good buddy Dave, who found this while walking around Jerusalem:

I really wish people would stop making fun of Americans. I personally am going to do my part by posting this, and not saying a word :)

Thanks, Dave!

Third up for the day, this just in from new Olah Rachel B, who kindly forwarded this funky potty package to me:

There's so much to say here, I don't know where to begin. I like how we're encouraged to try it out, as if we should open it up in the store aisle and see how it feels. I like that this company is abreast of the times! I like that Closestool rhymes with Playskool. And on and on and on... Thanks so much, Rachel! Sorry it took so long to post, and I hope you'll send more awesome bloopers when you find them! Note that I didn't say if you find them... :)

Here's an amazing amazing flyer sent in to me by Dana, another first-time submitter. This is just wonderful, get ready!

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness. Wow! There are so many funny things here, although my favorite is definitely the groping singles. I wonder if their new assistant will be able to help them out with proofreading?

Thanks, Dana!

And lastly, why am I posting today, of all days? Because when I picked up the mail this evening, I found this, and decided that I could wait no longer:

I saw this and started laughing out loud. My family thought that I was a little bit crazy. And then I saw that there was an accompanying magnet, with the same thing that had just cracked me up.

Do you see it? Do you see it? That bit about the saloon? Oh, man, there's just no end - I've got cowboys with curlers in my head now...

Naturally, I'm posting this to Signs, Signs, Lesley's fun meme. Go on over there, if you'd like to see more signage from all over the world, most more elegant and artistic than mine :)

Have a wonderful week, everyone - thanks for stopping by!