Perfect for your Shocking Stockings!

I miss this blog! I just stopped by to quickly post this gem that Rachel sent me, a long time ago. And as for the rest of you who were kind enough to send me something a long time ago, please don't give up hope! It's all saved and lined up to be shared, any second now... I really do appreciate all the wonderful things that you find for me and take the time to send! It's just that sometimes my real-life life gets the better of my fun-online-life :)

Anyway, on to the good stuff! Check this out:

It took me a couple of times to read through and find all the funny things in there. But there are a bunch - take a look! Which is your favorite? I like the idea that they expect you to launder a suit in this 40x50 centimeter bag, but I'm also quite attached to those sthocking underwears. Underwears! 

Definitely my 21th favorite is trying to pronounce 21th :)

Thanks, Rachel! And thanks all of you for coming by - I'll try to post again soon!

(Don't forget to check out Lesley's fun meme, Signs, Signs, to see signage from all over the world. Have fun!)

Happy Chanuka!

It's here at last - Happy Chanuka! Even before my eldest daughter was born on the first night of Chanuka, I think that it always was my favorite holiday. I mean, how wrong can you go when fried potatoes are your flagship food? Mmm, mm.


Anyway, I found myself a spare minute, so I'd like to quickly share two wonderful holiday bloopers. First up, this absolutely unbelievable one, from my good friend Dena!

That can't be real - they must be taking the mickey out of us :) I've lived here for almost half my life, but some things still shock me. This, for example! Thanks so much, Dena!


And, sent in completely separately by her son Micha, here's another excellent holiday specimen:

Erm... it may be extraordinarily priced, but yeah, I think I'll pass on that dreidel.
Thanks, Micha!


Fantastic finds, both! Have a wonderful, wonderful Chanuka, everyone! 


Oh, and of course I'll post this to Lesley's weekly meme, Signs, Signs. See you there!

A little more catching up

Well well, it's been a while! Time is flying by, Chanuka is almost upon us, but it's important to stop every so often and make time for some ridiculous signs. And we are blessed with lots of them! For example....


Dave found this one for me, can you see it? Feel free to click on the photo, if you'd like a closer view:

I like mash potatoes, but I *love* root beer! Oh, but wait, this isn't exactly root beer - what does that say? And anyway, after living here for as long as I have, I know that they're just teasing me. Black Beer, as this would be directly translated from the Hebrew, has nothing to do with Root Beer at all. It's some kind of malt thing, in an entirely different beverage category. Ah, what I wouldn't give for a root beer float! My birthday is coming up, people...


Dave also grabbed this one, while walking through Jerusalem:

This is just a typo, it doesn't have any particularly ridiculous alternate meanings, but it's the size of the thing that gets me. This sign is taller than I am - it cost someone an awful lot of money! You'd think that they'd want to just check once that it didn't have any mistakes, wouldn't you? No, I guess not. I mean, no one really reads the English anyway, right? It's just for show... and to give me blogging material! Thanks, Dave!


Next up, this one is from Gidon:

This one might not seem funny to those of you who aren't familiar with religious Jewish studies, but for the rest of us, it's just absurd. This sign says "HaNetziv" in Hebrew. The Netziv was a brilliant scholar, and well deserving of having his name on a street or two, not to mention a Kibbutz! And yet, in the one country in the world that should recognize his name, they went and called him the Netzuv. Sheesh. Thanks for bringing this one, Gidon!


This one was found for me by two separate friends, Yaffa and Meira. It's really nutty, buckle up:

I don't even know where to start with this one. Well, I guess we can start at the beginning - perhaps they were trying to say mind blowing? 
:)
This one borders on being as bad as those signs that people find in China. Unbelievable! I whish I had more of them... Thanks, Yaffa and Meira!


Here's one that our friend Nizan found:

In related news, I'm pretty sure that these machines are on their way to becoming illegal, so one way or another, the government is stepping in to remove this ridiculous typo from our streets! Thank you, Bibi! And thanks, Nizan!


A long, long time ago, Mirj found a huge typo for me in Raanana. At the time, we thought it was just silly - but now I'm thinking that it's possible that it's just how they spell coming in Raanana - maybe it's actually a dialect thing?

Thanks, Mirj!


And last for now, here's something I found right here, on our local Efrat-chat list:

Ah, that's the stuff. I've got nothing to add, folks - just have a great day, my treat! And a happy holiday season to all of us!


Oh, and for more interesting signage from all over the world, feel free to check out Lesley's blog, Signs, Signs. You'll be glad you went!

Funny Signs Before You

Well, we're all settling back into life here in Israel. That fabled time of the year called acharei hachagim (after the Holidays) has descended upon us, and we're expected to begin living productive lives once again. 


And so I thought I'd carry on sharing some treasures with you that have been building up in my inbox, just waiting anxiously to be posted. Thanks to all my faithful spies, who found these for me all over the country! Let's start with this one from Yoel, who found this sign in Jerusalem:

I sneakily blocked out the name here, so as not to further embarrass this person of great importance. If you're looking for a rabinical lowyer, he's your guy! It doesn't get any lower than this, folks. Contact Yoel if you need more information :)


Next up, from Micha, who has been contributing quite the lion's share of funny signs. Here's one he found in his hotel room in Eilat:

Just read that one more time, carefully... hah! How much does the phone's room usually charge? Is this actually a deal? Thanks, Micha!


Here's one from my good friend Rachel, who found this wonderful piece of cookware:

That's amazing! I know that I love a hot bowl of fried dish soup as much as the next guy. And with this pot, I'd never have to wait! I'm just saying, my birthday isn't that far away... thanks, Rach!


And last for now, here's one taken by me! Remember me?
:)
Here in Efrat, we've been blessed with some local road construction. The powers that be took a very dangerous intersection and made it far safer, and although this made getting around quite tricky for awhile, I for one am grateful for the final product. Anyway, these signs can now be seen around our area:

Before you, do you see that? This is a great example of Heblish, that new language that our children speak so well, and that is helpfully translated for us by Mrs. S., of Our Shiputzim fame. This sign doesn't mean before you, it means ahead. But the sign guy doesn't speak English, so how should he know? And anyway, no one really reads the English on these signs anyway, especially not in Gush Etzion, so there's no need to proofread...


Ha! What a great week this was! Thanks everyone, for your contributions, and for stopping by! Happy Acharei haChagim to you all!

Way back when

In my continuing attempt to catch up, here are some funny signs that were sent to me. How about I just don't tell you how long ago they were sent to me :)


Micha, who has found many funny items for us over the years, has now recruited his grandfather as a new foreign correspondent for A Time of the Signs. Here's a doozy he found for us, all the way in Berlin!

Micha aptly asked: you mean if we are thin enough to qualify for one?
Thanks for thinking of me, guys!


And lucky me, I have another new foreign correspondent - my dear brother in law Andy found this on his printer paper, all the way in Rochester, New York. The small print is important on this one, so feel free to click on the photo if you need to enlarge it!

Wow, and I thought I was indecisive! Thanks, Andy!


There's an Israeli FAIL bloopers site that I really enjoy called Keshel. Most of the things they post are funny for Hebrew speakers only, but they found this, and I totally can't resist sharing it with you all! Spotted at the Candyland shop, right here in Israel:

Ah, that's the stuff :)


And lastly (for now) my dedicated husband (the Balashon) found this for me while walking through the streets of Jerusalem. 

I remember back in grammar school, we were often given English quizzes with poorly built sentences. They were full of capitalization and punctuation errors, and we were supposed to correct them. Truthfully, I haven't thought of those things for years, and yet somehow, looking at this sign, I'm instantly swept 25 years back in time... is it just me?


That's all for now, folks - have a great Sukkot! And for those of you not celebrating Sukkot, have a great week anyway!

It's been too long!

I miss you guys! It's been a long, wonderful summer, but I want to blog again! And so, now that my life has been slowly calming down, I've decided to rearrange my schedule and make time for funny signs once again. Thanks to all of you, my virtual fans, for waiting patiently!


And so, with no further ado - here goes!


Do you all know Dina, my fellow Israeli blogger? She takes beautiful, insightful and interesting photos all around the Jerusalem area - you should check out her blog, if you haven't already! Anyway, she found this excellent, ridiculous specimen in Tel Aviv at the beginning of the summer (see her post for more details):

That really is just gorgeous - what a tremendously fancy typo! I'm pretty sure that even putting bon voyage here is inappropriate - I don't think that people leaving the fair are going on a voyage per se. But they certainly aren't going on a vayage! Thanks for thinking of me, Dina! 


My dear husband found this bizarre, bizarre sign for me while walking through Jerusalem. Buckle up:

Is it just us? Is yummy really the feeling they're looking to invoke?


And just to make us feel better about Israeli bloopers - Micha found this for me while he was vacationing in New York City! For shame, NYC, for shame...

That one's actually a little tricky - do you see it? Good eye, Micha!


Thanks so much, all of you - tune in again soon for more! Shana Tova, everyone - have a sweet and wonderful new year!

Bring me some Roasted Egplanet!

Micha has brought us a zinger! He went to Pizza Sababa in Jerusalem, and was kind enough to photograph their wonderful, wonderful menu. Take a look for yourselves! (And feel free to click on the photos, if you'd like to enlarge them.)

This is just so wonderfully entertaining - thank you, Micha! As seen in the title of this post, my definite favorite is the Egplanet - but there are just so many to choose from! And look closely - quite a few of these aren't typos, but just ridiculous mistranslations. Would you like some Home Dough, with a glass of Natural? Ah, I love it - how many bloopers can you find?


As always, I'm posting this to Lesley's meme, Signs, Signs. Have a great week, everyone!