A Time of the Signs

Perfect for your Shocking Stockings!

2012-01-18T23:55:00.001+02:00

I miss this blog! I just stopped by to quickly post this gem that Rachel sent me, a long time ago. And as for the rest of you who were kind enough to send me something a long time ago, please don't give up hope! It's all saved and lined up to be shared, any second now... I really do appreciate all the wonderful things that you find for me and take the time to send! It's just that sometimes my real-life life gets the better of my fun-online-life :)

Anyway, on to the good stuff! Check this out:

It took me a couple of times to read through and find all the funny things in there. But there are a bunch - take a look! Which is your favorite? I like the idea that they expect you to launder a suit in this 40x50 centimeter bag, but I'm also quite attached to those sthocking underwears. Underwears!

Definitely my 21th favorite is trying to pronounce 21th :)

Thanks, Rachel! And thanks all of you for coming by - I'll try to post again soon!

(Don't forget to check out Lesley's fun meme, Signs, Signs, to see signage from all over the world. Have fun!)

Happy Chanuka!

2011-12-21T00:16:00.000+02:00

It's here at last - Happy Chanuka! Even before my eldest daughter was born on the first night of Chanuka, I think that it always was my favorite holiday. I mean, how wrong can you go when fried potatoes are your flagship food? Mmm, mm.

Anyway, I found myself a spare minute, so I'd like to quickly share two wonderful holiday bloopers. First up, this absolutely unbelievable one, from my good friend Dena!

That can't be real - they must be taking the mickey out of us :) I've lived here for almost half my life, but some things still shock me. This, for example! Thanks so much, Dena!

And, sent in completely separately by her son Micha, here's another excellent holiday specimen:

Erm... it may be extraordinarily priced, but yeah, I think I'll pass on that dreidel.
Thanks, Micha!

Fantastic finds, both! Have a wonderful, wonderful Chanuka, everyone!

Oh, and of course I'll post this to Lesley's weekly meme, Signs, Signs. See you there!

A little more catching up

2011-12-05T02:26:00.001+02:00

Well well, it's been a while! Time is flying by, Chanuka is almost upon us, but it's important to stop every so often and make time for some ridiculous signs. And we are blessed with lots of them! For example....

Dave found this one for me, can you see it? Feel free to click on the photo, if you'd like a closer view:

I like mash potatoes, but I *love* root beer! Oh, but wait, this isn't exactly root beer - what does that say? And anyway, after living here for as long as I have, I know that they're just teasing me. Black Beer, as this would be directly translated from the Hebrew, has nothing to do with Root Beer at all. It's some kind of malt thing, in an entirely different beverage category. Ah, what I wouldn't give for a root beer float! My birthday is coming up, people...

Dave also grabbed this one, while walking through Jerusalem:

This is just a typo, it doesn't have any particularly ridiculous alternate meanings, but it's the size of the thing that gets me. This sign is taller than I am - it cost someone an awful lot of money! You'd think that they'd want to just check once that it didn't have any mistakes, wouldn't you? No, I guess not. I mean, no one really reads the English anyway, right? It's just for show... and to give me blogging material! Thanks, Dave!

Next up, this one is from Gidon:

This one might not seem funny to those of you who aren't familiar with religious Jewish studies, but for the rest of us, it's just absurd. This sign says "HaNetziv" in Hebrew. The Netziv was a brilliant scholar, and well deserving of having his name on a street or two, not to mention a Kibbutz! And yet, in the one country in the world that should recognize his name, they went and called him the Netzuv. Sheesh. Thanks for bringing this one, Gidon!

This one was found for me by two separate friends, Yaffa and Meira. It's really nutty, buckle up:

I don't even know where to start with this one. Well, I guess we can start at the beginning - perhaps they were trying to say mind blowing?
:)
This one borders on being as bad as those signs that people find in China. Unbelievable! I whish I had more of them... Thanks, Yaffa and Meira!

Here's one that our friend Nizan found:

In related news, I'm pretty sure that these machines are on their way to becoming illegal, so one way or another, the government is stepping in to remove this ridiculous typo from our streets! Thank you, Bibi! And thanks, Nizan!

A long, long time ago, Mirj found a huge typo for me in Raanana. At the time, we thought it was just silly - but now I'm thinking that it's possible that it's just how they spell coming in Raanana - maybe it's actually a dialect thing?

Thanks, Mirj!

And last for now, here's something I found right here, on our local Efrat-chat list:

Ah, that's the stuff. I've got nothing to add, folks - just have a great day, my treat! And a happy holiday season to all of us!

Oh, and for more interesting signage from all over the world, feel free to check out Lesley's blog, Signs, Signs. You'll be glad you went!

Funny Signs Before You

2011-10-30T01:09:00.000+02:00

Well, we're all settling back into life here in Israel. That fabled time of the year called acharei hachagim (after the Holidays) has descended upon us, and we're expected to begin living productive lives once again.

And so I thought I'd carry on sharing some treasures with you that have been building up in my inbox, just waiting anxiously to be posted. Thanks to all my faithful spies, who found these for me all over the country! Let's start with this one from Yoel, who found this sign in Jerusalem:

I sneakily blocked out the name here, so as not to further embarrass this person of great importance. If you're looking for a rabinical lowyer, he's your guy! It doesn't get any lower than this, folks. Contact Yoel if you need more information :)

Next up, from Micha, who has been contributing quite the lion's share of funny signs. Here's one he found in his hotel room in Eilat:

Just read that one more time, carefully... hah! How much does the phone's room usually charge? Is this actually a deal? Thanks, Micha!

Here's one from my good friend Rachel, who found this wonderful piece of cookware:

That's amazing! I know that I love a hot bowl of fried dish soup as much as the next guy. And with this pot, I'd never have to wait! I'm just saying, my birthday isn't that far away... thanks, Rach!

And last for now, here's one taken by me! Remember me?
:)
Here in Efrat, we've been blessed with some local road construction. The powers that be took a very dangerous intersection and made it far safer, and although this made getting around quite tricky for awhile, I for one am grateful for the final product. Anyway, these signs can now be seen around our area:

Before you, do you see that? This is a great example of Heblish, that new language that our children speak so well, and that is helpfully translated for us by Mrs. S., of Our Shiputzim fame. This sign doesn't mean before you, it means ahead. But the sign guy doesn't speak English, so how should he know? And anyway, no one really reads the English on these signs anyway, especially not in Gush Etzion, so there's no need to proofread...

Ha! What a great week this was! Thanks everyone, for your contributions, and for stopping by! Happy Acharei haChagim to you all!

Way back when

2011-10-11T02:21:00.001+02:00

In my continuing attempt to catch up, here are some funny signs that were sent to me. How about I just don't tell you how long ago they were sent to me :)

Micha, who has found many funny items for us over the years, has now recruited his grandfather as a new foreign correspondent for A Time of the Signs. Here's a doozy he found for us, all the way in Berlin!

Micha aptly asked: you mean if we are thin enough to qualify for one?
Thanks for thinking of me, guys!

And lucky me, I have another new foreign correspondent - my dear brother in law Andy found this on his printer paper, all the way in Rochester, New York. The small print is important on this one, so feel free to click on the photo if you need to enlarge it!

Wow, and I thought I was indecisive! Thanks, Andy!

There's an Israeli FAIL bloopers site that I really enjoy called Keshel. Most of the things they post are funny for Hebrew speakers only, but they found this, and I totally can't resist sharing it with you all! Spotted at the Candyland shop, right here in Israel:

Ah, that's the stuff :)

And lastly (for now) my dedicated husband (the Balashon) found this for me while walking through the streets of Jerusalem.

I remember back in grammar school, we were often given English quizzes with poorly built sentences. They were full of capitalization and punctuation errors, and we were supposed to correct them. Truthfully, I haven't thought of those things for years, and yet somehow, looking at this sign, I'm instantly swept 25 years back in time... is it just me?

That's all for now, folks - have a great Sukkot! And for those of you not celebrating Sukkot, have a great week anyway!

It's been too long!

2011-10-02T20:53:00.001+02:00

I miss you guys! It's been a long, wonderful summer, but I want to blog again! And so, now that my life has been slowly calming down, I've decided to rearrange my schedule and make time for funny signs once again. Thanks to all of you, my virtual fans, for waiting patiently!

And so, with no further ado - here goes!

Do you all know Dina, my fellow Israeli blogger? She takes beautiful, insightful and interesting photos all around the Jerusalem area - you should check out her blog, if you haven't already! Anyway, she found this excellent, ridiculous specimen in Tel Aviv at the beginning of the summer (see her post for more details):

That really is just gorgeous - what a tremendously fancy typo! I'm pretty sure that even putting bon voyage here is inappropriate - I don't think that people leaving the fair are going on a voyage per se. But they certainly aren't going on a vayage! Thanks for thinking of me, Dina!

My dear husband found this bizarre, bizarre sign for me while walking through Jerusalem. Buckle up:

Is it just us? Is yummy really the feeling they're looking to invoke?

And just to make us feel better about Israeli bloopers - Micha found this for me while he was vacationing in New York City! For shame, NYC, for shame...

That one's actually a little tricky - do you see it? Good eye, Micha!

Thanks so much, all of you - tune in again soon for more! Shana Tova, everyone - have a sweet and wonderful new year!

Bring me some Roasted Egplanet!

2011-07-06T08:36:00.001+03:00

Micha has brought us a zinger! He went to Pizza Sababa in Jerusalem, and was kind enough to photograph their wonderful, wonderful menu. Take a look for yourselves! (And feel free to click on the photos, if you'd like to enlarge them.)

This is just so wonderfully entertaining - thank you, Micha! As seen in the title of this post, my definite favorite is the Egplanet - but there are just so many to choose from! And look closely - quite a few of these aren't typos, but just ridiculous mistranslations. Would you like some Home Dough, with a glass of Natural? Ah, I love it - how many bloopers can you find?

As always, I'm posting this to Lesley's meme, Signs, Signs. Have a great week, everyone!

Need a decongestant?

2011-06-23T07:28:00.001+03:00

I have a few online friends who have supplied me with tremendous finds over the years. When I first started this blog, almost every one of the bloopers I posted had been found in person by me! But the fact is, having spies all over the country (and world, for that matter) makes this a lot easier. And it creates a sense of community - I feel like I'm giving people who feel the way I do about typos a place to vent :)

Anyway, one of my very first posts-by-correspondent was from Mirj, who lives in Raanana and has an excellent eye for these things. I'm grateful for all of her help over the years - just search my blog for Mirj, and you'll see that there are quite a few entries :) And she's come through for us again - bigger and better than before. Just look at what she found oozing in the freezer section at her local grocery store!

For those of you who can't read the Hebrew, that was translated from Frozen Goose Ribs. There may be a better way to say Goose Ribs, but I'm fairly sure that it isn't Chest Gooze...

Yich! As Mirj so aptly said, this sounds like a phlegmy chest infection. And if the meat is from Belgium, then a Flemmy chest infection... what could I possibly add? Thanks, Mirj!

She now has a blog of her own which is far more impressive than mine - it's a fantastic source for great stories and yummy recipes - you should check it out at your soonest convenience, if you haven't already!

Oh, and I'll post this (naturally) to Lesley's weekly meme, Signs, Signs. It's a fun place to look if you'd like to see interesting signage from all over the world! Have a great week, everyone!

A little help from my friends - once again

2011-06-08T23:44:00.000+03:00

You know, growing up as a nerdy little kid, I really never expected to have fans of any kind. And now, lucky me, people from all over Israel (and all over the world, for that matter) keep sending me goofy typos that they've come across. I can never decide whether or not it's a good thing that people think of me when faced with bad grammar and ridiculous signage, but it is what it is. I've decided to accept it as a positive thing! And it makes me feel good to know that I'm not the only one who notices this stuff... :)

And so, with no further ado, here are some interesting items that I've received. First up is from Daniela, who reviews Israeli food products on her blog - always helpful! She found this at KFC in the Malcha mall in Jerusalem:

When I put patates into Google Translate (our favorite website - check out here why it's even cooler than we thought) it popped up as the Turkish word for potatoes. I'm pretty sure that it's the same thing in French, which makes sense here, but it definitely is not English. Hey - maybe the whole thing is French? That would actually be pretty progressive. Whatever, this looked like a mess to Daniela, and I'm inclined to agree. Thanks for sending it in!

Second - here's another gem from Mirj, my longtime reader and online pal. She had a culinary adventure right around Valentine's Day, and found this funky sign in the restaurant bathroom:

Thankfully, she had her camera handy. I love this sign - thanks, Mirj!

And lastly, here are two funny search pop-ups from my dear husband, the Balashon:

A sad, sad commentary on our world. But if you think that's bad, try this one:

Why, yes, I did mean doogle dots, that's exactly what we were looking for! However did you guess?

Thanks, everyone - keep these coming!

Oh, and for more sign photography, check out Lesley's meme right now, at Signs, Signs. Have a great day, everyone!

Be my, be my baby!!

2011-05-26T07:15:00.003+03:00

Here's an email posted to our local community chat group a little while ago. Maybe we should call the police?

Is it just me? Maybe it's just me. But hey - it's my blog - so I'm posting it anyway :)

I'm posting this to Lesley's meme, Signs, Signs. Go right now if you'd like to check out more cool signage from all over the world!

Have a great week, everyone!

Just some quickies

2011-05-19T07:20:00.004+03:00

Sorry I haven't been around much - my life is getting the better of this blog! But never fear, true readers, in my heart I haven't abandoned you! I've just neglected you a teensy bit :) Anyway, I'll try to make up for it by posting a few good bloopers that I have here, waiting in the wings.

First, here's a funny one from my friend Varda. She found this quite a while ago on her package of dill, which is shamir in Hebrew.

Corundum? Varda thinks maybe they thought that dill is actually coriander, and got confused. But considering that dill isn't coriander, and that corundum isn't coriander either, this is altogether bizarre. It definitely reconfirms my long-held suspicion that Israelis are pretty sure that no one actually reads the English on their labels - it's just good to slap something on there if you'd like a more professional look :)

Thanks, Varda!

Second up: this one from our friend Ricky. He found these knives in the grocery store, and was kind enough to grab a photo for me!

This thankfully looks like it wasn't written in Israel, but just arrived with the merchandise which was bought overseas. That means that I can enjoy the absurdity of the language without secretly feeling embarrassed about the ignorance of my countrymen! Thanks, Ricky!

And here's a news story shown to me by my friend Dena, a few months ago. It's just goofy! Just to explain: Blue Square is the name of the company that owns some grocery store chains here in Israel.

Okay, maybe they're moving away from selling some Tnuva products. But guys, who's going to clean that up??

Thanks, Dena!

And last but not least: this was flying around the internet yesterday, and was generously forwarded to me by Gidon, Dave, Ariel and Rachel! Wow. Generally when things go viral like that, I get a bit suspicious that they're fake. But still - four of you sent it to me (an all-time record), so I feel a bit obligated to share it with everyone else, just in case. Enjoy!!

I'm not even sure where to start with that one. So I'll just leave it as is, for you to enjoy. I will say this, though: Google Translate has made the world a much more entertaining place!

And as always, I'm posting this (a little late) to Lesley's meme, Signs, Signs. Go there now, if you'd like to see more fun signage photography! Have a great day, everyone!

Oh. My. Cod.

2011-04-27T22:38:00.001+03:00

Here's a quick and easy one from my friend Ariel. She's found some great signs for us in the past, and I'm always grateful to her for thinking of me. This is no exception!

The sales tax on this receipt (not to mention all the English) shows us that it isn't from Israel, which is especially wonderful! Typos in other countries make me feel like Israel's typos aren't really so bad, considering :)

Thanks again, Ariel!

For more sign photography, go to Lesley's cool meme, Signs, Signs. Have a great week, everyone!

Way out!

2011-04-13T23:55:00.001+03:00

It's almost Passover! Jews all over the world are getting ready for a week of unleavened items. Here at my house we've finally finished off all of the various kinds of flour and things that contain flour, and we're almost ready to break out the matza!

But Rena, my very favorite vegan, was apparently ready a few weeks ago. She found this label and thoughtfully sent it to me.

See? It says, "Out Flour!" Evidently she had a good head start, and has been using products that endorse banning flour use. Oh, wait, what's that? Ohh... I see. It's supposed to say *Oat* flour. My mistake :)

Thanks for thinking of me, Rena!

Naturally, I'm posting this to Lesley's meme, Signs, Signs. Have a great week, everyone! And a great Passover!

I don't want to go on and on about it, but...

2011-04-05T23:51:00.005+03:00

I'm honored today to present you with a silly sign that was sent to me by a friend from way back, who only just recently moved to Israel! And she's already proving quite useful as a signage spy, too - whereas I'm generally located in the greater Jerusalem area, she's located way up North, in Teverya. What fun! I'm so happy to have a new correspondent - welcome aboard, Ester! And just look at what she found for us:

Ah... just lovely. After so many years of living here, and over three years blogging, I still can't help but giggle at this stuff! I erased the phone number, for fear that you might be tempted to call Jacob day and night... I know I am!

Oh, another noteworthy item - Dina found a fantastic sign in Tel Aviv recently - well worth checking out! If you haven't seen her blog before, take a look around - she's always got really interesting photos from the Jerusalem Hills and beyond!

And for those of you who haven't seen it, you *must* watch this entirely hilarious video, in honor of our (all too soon) upcoming Passover holiday! It's a look at what a modern, online Exodus from Egypt might look like, and it's just tremendously funny - enjoy!

Naturally I'm posting this to Lesley's fun meme, Signs, Signs! I'll see you there! Have a great week, everyone!

Happy Belated Purim!

2011-03-24T01:03:00.002+02:00

For those of you who may not know, we celebrated Purim this past Sunday. Purim is one of Judaism's most fun-filled holidays, with lots of happy social interaction, dressing up, and of course, good food! I was really hoping for a funny Purim sign or label to post here, and I sadly didn't find anything too outrageous. But I'm lucky enough to have some on-the-ball friends who both found this wonderful, perfect specimen - first time contributor Yonina, and veteran contributor Dena. You guys saved the day - thanks so much! And now, with no further ado:

This is a package of Hamantaschen, those traditional, three-cornered Purim cookies. In Hebrew they're oznei haman, which is a whole other mix-up, but we can save that post for my dear husband, the Balashon. Anyway, these date-filled ones are grossly mislabeled - first off, and most obviously, the palm flavor is really off-putting. No? Is it just me? I don't know about all of you, but it makes me actually grimace - maybe I'm just thinking of palm oil... But even if they were palm flavored, I'm pretty sure they would be Palm Flavored Ozney Haman, and not Ozney Haman Palm flavored. And also, why are all of the words capitalized except for flavored? Did they run out of capitals, just then?

This is frustrating, and yet so very, very entertaining :)

Anyway, I'm posting this to Lesley's weekly meme, Signs, Signs. Go check it out! Have a great week, everyone!

We're on the map!

2011-03-17T00:27:00.000+02:00

I've been a bit busy with life lately - nothing in particular, but somehow I seem to have less time than usual for things online. I don't want to abandon my loyal fans, though, and so I'm taking a minute to post this doozy, kindly sent in by my friend Dena. She's found so many of these for me that at this point, I'm thinking I should just turn over the whole blog to her! Anyway, here's the latest - thanks so much, Dena!

Maybe I should explain: mapa is the Hebrew word for tablecloth, something that often makes us immigrants laugh. Maps and tablecloths are a little similar, if you look for it - they're both big flat sheets that can be folded up, right? But now, here comes another example of good old Israeli know-how. The word is mapa, they've heard the word map, what could be easier? They must go together, right? No need to ask an English speaker - anyone can speak English! It's so easy!

You've got to love it :)

Once again, I'm posting this to Lesley's meme, Signs, signs. Have a great week, everyone!

Shouldn't they know better?

2011-03-10T07:42:00.002+02:00

Hello all!

This week I present you with two funny posts sent to me all the way from the U.S. of A! I personally love mistakes found in native English speaking countries - they make me feel so much better about our situation here in Israel. And so, with no further ado - here's one that was thoughtfully sent to me by Sheva:

This menu was found in her local Chinese restaurant, in Baltimore. Can you find the mistake? Personally, I always run for chocolate, and I imagine truffles are even more tempting. But as Sheva points out, perhaps serving things like french fries and chocolate at a Chinese restaurant should be our cue to run :)

Thanks for thinking of me when you saw this, Sheva!

Here is number two, found by my friend Dena's parents, while they were in New Orleans. Dena calls this "the most self-evident sign ever," and I'm inclined to agree:

I mean - yes, okay, it's true - but really? How necessary is this sign? I love it! Thanks, Dena and family!

Oh - I wanted to share one more with you - this is something from our friend Shlomo. It's not American, but it's an Israeli take on an American product, and I found it very funny:

Do you see it? Do you see it? Yeah, there - the only English in the ad :) This one is particularly fantastic because cat is exactly how Israelis would pronounce cut. So I'm pretty sure that someone was convinced that this was the proper spelling. And naturally, working at a newspaper, they wouldn't have access to an actual English speaker - yeah right :)

That's all for now - don't forget to check out Lesley's great meme: Signs, signs! And have a great week, everyone!

Tsfat - Say Cheeze!

2011-02-22T23:06:00.000+02:00

I don't know how many of you are aware of my other, prettier blog, but I do have one! I started it a little over a year and a half ago, initially because I wanted an outlet to show my mother all the beautiful things that I see on a daily basis. But on my very first post, Leora introduced me to the world of photoblog memes, and I'm officially addicted. I'm now on a constant search for interesting shadows to post on Sundays, good close-ups to post on Mondays, red items for Ruby Tuesdays, architecture for Wednesdays, and of course, nice sky shots for Fridays. Just ask my poor, neglected family how much of my time I spend "just posting one thing," or pulling off to the side of the road to get a shot of something that won't wait. Of course, you're all invited to check it out on a regular basis, if you like! Ah, but I digress.

The point was supposed to be this: for the last few Wednesdays, I've been posting pretty photos of various windows and doors that we found in Tsfat over this past summer, during a few hours that we spent there. There are some gorgeous things in Tsfat, and even though we weren't there for long, I took an awful lot of photos. Anyway, while looking through them all to find the shots of windows and doors, I came across a few funny signs, too. For example:

Is that a command? Get going, Avni!

Whenever I try to say that one out loud, it seems to adopt an Italian accent, I'm not sure why...

And now, for my favorite:

It's true, I know that Safed is technically one of the many acceptable spellings of Tsfat. But the cheeze really had me smiling here! And when you put the safed next to the cheeze, it's even better! I'm envisioning some very secure cheeze, all locked up in shackles :)

That's all for now, folks - have a great week! And, to stick with our theme, do go check out Lesley's meme - Signs, Signs, to see interesting signage from all over the world! Have a great week, everyone!

A little help from my friends - the final episode (for now)

2011-02-17T07:25:00.000+02:00

Okay, then, here is the last one. I really mean it! Yes, I know that I've been saying the same thing for the last few weeks, but really, this is it. Here's the last group of funny photos submitted to me from over a year ago. Then we can move on to posting the more recent ones :)

Nothing to it but to do it!

Here's a great sign from Dena, my ever-loyal sign scout:

That one reminds me of the way my kids occasionally speak. I remember once when they were much younger, and someone was in someone else's way, one of my kids said, annoyed, "You're making me not have any space!!" To which I thought - yeah, all those words technically make sense, but a native English speaker would just say, "You're squishing me!!" Likewise, yes, "merge" and "fit together" are pretty much the same thing. But - really? That's what you wanted to write, out here in front of everyone? Hmm. Anyway, thanks Dena!

Number two in today's lineup - from Ricky, my good friend and contributor:

Okay, the obvious mistake here also isn't such an obvious one to non-English speakers. We don't say trousers, we say pairs of trousers, right? But what I find to be much funnier here is that they claim to be the leading producers of laundry. I thought that they're supposed to produce the clean clothing, while we customers provide the laundry, no? I mean, are they going to charge us for unprecedented amounts of stained clothing? Interesting - maybe I should try making money like that...

Here are some menu bloopers sent to me by one of my very best virtual friends, Mirj:

Various typos, strange translations, misplaced apostrophes, random capitalization - what can I say? Velcome to Izrayel!

And here's a crazy one from Rachel, who presents us with this one. The product is a cool idea - twist ties on demand. But what the heck is going on with the packaging? (The picture is split into two halves, but you get the idea.)

Embroider? Prick? I feel like Inigo Montoya, from the Princess Bride, who said, in one of his very best lines, You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. Oh, and look, continuing with the Inigo theme, here at the bottom we have a sword! The sword seems to be closest to its actual meaning - I mean, the place where one cuts the twist ties is sharp, like a sword, right? (Whereas I'm still not clear on what the embroider is referring to.) But here's another funny thing - presuming that embroider, prick and sword were exactly the words they were going for, apparently they didn't even know where the sword was supposed to go :) (Guys! It's to the left!)

Well, I think that's all, folks! Please join us again next week for your regular installment of funny signage mistakes, mostly seen here in Israel, the land I love. Have a great week, in the meantime!

Oh, and don't forget to check out Lesley's meme, Signs, Signs, if you'd like to see more sign-oriented photography! Some of it is really interesting, and even beautiful - it's worth a visit!

A little help from my friends - the saga continues...

2011-02-10T01:28:00.000+02:00

Well, we're almost caught up. And by that, I mean that I'm almost done putting up all the funny things sent in before a year ago! After that, we'll go back to our regularly scheduled programming, with one post per week. Unless, of course, I get flooded with more entries (hint hint)!

Anyway, let's jump in! First, how about this snazzy flyer that our good buddy Shlomo got in the mail:

Is that offensive to Poles? I apologize if any of you are upset, that wasn't my intention. If any of the rest of you are in the market for some vaks, please contact Shlomo, to get the phone number on his flyer.

Check out this cool sweatshirt that Safranit found for sale in Katzrin!

Wow. I remember back in high school, I had a t-shirt that said "brush your teeth regularly" in Russian. The idea was that anything written in Russian was automatically cool... well, at least, according to a few of us. Somehow, I get the impression that the motivation here was similar - it's got some letters, they look like English - yalla, put it on the rack, we'll be rich! I sure hope my t-shirt didn't have as many typos...

Here's a funny one from our longtime fan and contributor, Gidon:

Um. What? Come again? Oh, maybe they're trying to entice us to come in so we can find out what the heck they're talking about??

And here's one more from Gidon. I like this one even more!

Ha! That one is just excellent. If the drivers won't pay attention, maybe we can at least get the street signs to notice! That's good optimism on the part of City Hall, I say.

You know, I still have four more to post! I think I'll save them for next week, since Dave really wants me to share these two things with you that he came across this past week - both very funny. Here's the first one, although this is in Hebrew - I promise, I'll explain:

That's from the HaAretz newspaper last Friday. It's the usual "what time to light Shabat candles" box found in the corner of Jewish publications worldwide, except that it lists the weekly portion as "Parashat Blah Blah." Oy! I guess whoever was working on it decided to be cute until they had time to look up which weekly portion was due to be read, and then they just never got back to it. From what I understand, people are highly offended, and HaAretz is being sued. Hilarious!

And two, far less Jewish, and equally hilarious:

As The Media Blog commented: It is a little surprising that the reporter didn't think to check. "Crikey, that's a lot of a pigs mate, are you sure you mean 30,000?". Similarly, if they really thought there were 30,000 pigs floating down the river, why did they only put it on page 11? That would be Biblical!

Wow! That was a good week. Don't forget, I'm submitting this to Lesley's meme, Signs, Signs.Go check it out now, for more intriguing signage from all over the world! And have a fantastic week, all of you!

Help from my friends - Episode II

2011-02-03T00:15:00.001+02:00

Last week, I had planned to post all of those signs and labels from way back that had been sent to me by loyal readers everywhere. That is, until I realized that I'm lucky enough to have way too many for a single post! And so, with no further ado: here's the second installment of my A Little Help From My Friends post:

This one is from our good friend Ariel. (Remember Ariel?) In case you can't see all of the small print, she was sweet enough to give us some close-ups:

and here:

Wow - every line here is a jewel! The obvious winner on the laugh-meter would be amazing visual convulsion, just because it's got convulsion in there, but I think my personal favorite might actually be It can take your endless fun! That sounds to me like something parents can really relate to. Whichever you choose - thank you, Ariel!

Next up:

That funny one is from our good friend Ricky. Your average Wii game system isn't nearly as forthcoming and friendly as this one that he found. Would you like to play? Wi Wi!

I thought I had a hard time explaining English spelling to my Israeli kids. Now Mirj has found a whole new concept to throw us off: silent g! Unfair, I tell you. How are we possibly supposed to remember all of these complicated rules?! But she saw it at the airport, so it must be right. Sigh.

Our friend Ari found this one, right outside Jerusalem's Old City. The thing is, as those who can read and understand Hebrew can testify, this wasn't intended to be a sign about noise pollution, but rather: No Parking. Oops. Well, maybe it's better this way - it's become a two-for-one sign.

Believe it or not, I still have a few more! But that's okay, they'll wait for another week. Meanwhile, I want to finish off with this wonderful image, as seen today on Hadassah Sabo's blog, In the Pink:

I'm posting this to Lesley's meme, Signs, Signs. Go and check it out - you'll be glad that you did!

That's it for now, folks - have a great day!

A little help from my friends

2011-01-27T18:32:00.004+02:00

Well, I was going through the emails in my "time of the signs" label (in my ever-faithful gmail) to try and decide what to post today. Suddenly, I went back a bit further than I had meant to... and discovered that there are a bunch of things that were thoughtfully sent to me that somehow slipped through the cracks, and weren't ever posted! Some are from actual friends of mine, and some from virtual friends (who would have ever thought that I'd have virtual friends!). Anyway, all of you - thank you for sending these! Here are some of them, better late than never:

That one was from Elie Klein, who found it while rafting with his family on the Hatzbani river. A tremendous specimen! This one seems to be almost as awful as those ones in Asia that we see posted around online. I can't even decide which part I like best, but I am confident that Elie's family fulfilled the sign's required level of cool.

That one is from Mrs. S., who pointed out that this box is a real mine field. I can just see the family get together - the ice cream is mine! No, it's mine! No, it's *mine*!

This one is from my good friend Rachel, who was cheerfully greeted by this message on her laptop in the airport in L.A., upon nearing the end of her allotted wireless ration. The thing about this is that when she first sent it to me and told me that it was "from the airport," I just assumed that she was talking about our little Israeli airport, Ben Gurion. Then I started putting this post together and I suddenly remembered that Ben Gurion has unlimited free wireless access, and so it had to be a different airport. Which makes this all the much more shocking, I think! L.A.?! And that's the English that they came up with? That's actually really scary. Thanks, Rach!

This is from my good friend Dena. I almost like the Hebrew here as much as the English... I always enjoy witnessing the usage of the word "ped" for "pad." Anyway, I actually know some people looking for cheap housing now - I wonder if there's any room left in the skid resident base?

Wow, I actually have a bunch more photos waiting here - I guess those will have to wait until next week. Be patient, everyone! But before I leave you, I must include the pièce de résistance of this week, and here I owe a bunch of thanks. To Dave, who first showed it to me, posted on Avigdor's Facebook page... to Avigdor, who was kind enough to let me use it... and to Gidon, who later emailed it to me. And now, with no further ado:

Okay, are we all looking in the same place? Do we all see it? There, first word on the second to last line? So - even if you don't speak Hebrew, and even if you don't understand the Jewish Law regarding orla, you can certainly agree that you don't want any foreskin in your grape juice. That said, this label makes me a little nervous. I mean, this brand guarantees no foreskin, right? So tomorrow, if I pick up a different bottle with no such guarantee, will my neighbors really feel comfortable with the level of kashrut in my house? Oh, man, this is exactly how stringencies start...

Thank you, Avigdor, who's boss' friend in England saw the actual label. Once again, I'm posting to Lesley's new meme, Signs, Signs. Go check it out, right now! And have a great week, everyone!

When I was your age...

2011-01-20T07:10:00.004+02:00

Well, I've been going through my older emails, and I found this photo, lovingly submitted by my dear brother Avy. You may remember him from such posts as this one, and even this! He is officially a good brother; as you can see, he's linked to both of my blogs on his sidebar :)

Anyway, Avy wrote, "I saw this sign at Jewel, and thought: "It's probably my duty as a human being to share this with Toby and her blog. Apparently, it's a new brand of bread." To which I respond, "!?!"

So it's true that I haven't lived in America for quite a few years, but I can tell you that in *my* day, bimbos just weren't so readily available - and certainly not next to the olives at the grocery store.

Thank you, Avy! And everyone - don't forget to check out Lesley's cool new meme, Signs, Signs! Have a great week!

Highly estimated

2011-01-11T01:28:00.002+02:00

Here's another doozy from Yoel, who sent this to me a while ago. Thanks, Yoel! He found this in the Carta parking lot, in Jerusalem:

Estimated, eh? Is it possible that they're trying to say esteemed? Or, as Yoel suggests, perhaps whoever translated this spoke Spanish, and got mixed up with estimado. Who knows? I also like the please notice used here, it seems very passive and mild mannered. Don't pay attention, and certainly don't put in too much effort - just noticing is good enough for us :)

I occasionally think that I've covered all the typos in this country. It's almost a relief to know that there are more out there to giggle at!

Have a great week, everybody! And don't forget to go check out week #2 of Lesley's new meme, signs, signs!

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T19:28:00.002+02:00

In keeping with my pledge to post once a week, here I am! Just under the wire, but here! First of all, Happy New Year, all of you! Let's see how long it takes me to remember to sign '11. I think I'm usually well into February before I really get the hang of things...

Anyway, here's a funny restaurant that I found with the kids this past summer, on our way back from the beach in Ashdod. See, I told you that I have photos that have been waiting around for a long time! What do y'all think of this one?

I like it a lot! But that's just me, there's no accounting for taste. Unless, of course, you're a restaurant :)

I'm excited to be participating in a new meme this week - something I've never done before with this blog. Lesley is starting a meme for photos of signs - what could be better for me? It's very logically called Signs Signs - go and check it out right now!

Happy New Year, all! And have a great week!

All the way from the Dead Sea

2010-12-24T09:35:00.000+02:00

Well, I'm really hoping to get back to posting here every week. People have sent me so much great material (thanks, everyone!) and now I just need to make some time/sit still long enough to put it up. Feel free to email and nudge me :)

Anyway, I'm going to start my comeback with something really funny that I received from Shlomo, a good friend of ours. He found this doozy at the Dead Sea:

Now personally, I prefer a good shower in the morning - I find it very refreshing, and I don't like to go to bed wet. But prohibited? That seems a bit harsh. Shlomo had a different take on this sign, though. He told me, "When I saw it, I thought, ok, if it's not every night, then it's ok?" An intriguing point.

Then I got thinking some more - wasn't there something in Gremlins about not getting wet and nighttime? Maybe that's their concern...

Any way you look at it, I like this sign. Thanks, Shlomo!

Happy Chanuka!

2010-12-07T22:03:00.005+02:00

I'd like to start out by thanking all of you - my loyal fans - who are reading this! This year, I was so busy that I completely forgot to celebrate my blog's third anniversary, which came and went back on September 22nd. Three years! That's a long time to keep a blog going, for some of us :) It's funny, I still think of myself as an amateur blogger, but even I know that just being here and posting regularly (more or less) for three years makes me somewhat established. And so I thank you all for sticking with me this long!

I also thank all of you who have sent me fantastic typos and demonstrations of the absurd! It's gotten so that there are too many of you to name, but you all know who you are. I'm honored that you think of me and my little blog when you see something that's just too ridiculous to be true :) Please feel free to keep sending me bloopers that you've seen: 321toby *at* gmail *dot* com. And to those of you who have sent me items that haven't yet been posted - never fear, they're coming!

And now, on to the show!

This week we've been celebrating Chanuka. (Back in fourth grade, Ms. Kornblatt taught us that any spelling of Chanuka that incorporated eight letters was acceptable. Here I am, actively ignoring her rule, and feeling quite guilty about it. I'm sorry, Ms. Kornblatt! This one just looks best to me.) Chanuka is the Festival of Lights, and I was patiently looking for a Chanuka typo to post, when I discovered that Hannah over at A Mother in Israel had already found a great one! She very generously allowed me to repost it here, and so I present you with these boxes of wicks that she found. These are standard wicks that float on oil - there's a round stopper that does the floating, and a wick that is threaded through a hole in the center of the stopper. Not difficult. Let's see what the directions have to say for themselves - first in English:

Seems pretty straightforward, right? Hannah was kind enough to insert We’re not going to comment about spelling or vocabulary, okay? But I have to say that I really like the "equale" here - I find it very elegant :) Anyway, apparently the wicks weren't lighting well, and that's when they noticed that the Hebrew directions were actually different than the English ones!

See, here it says to leave 1/3 of the wick above the stopper, and 2/3 below, saturated in the oil. Not exactly the "equale" version mentioned in the English version. A conspiracy to undermine Anglo lighting? Or just a blooper? Let's wait and see, here's another brand that she found - first the English:

This twig cracked me up more than all the others. It's referring, you understand, to the wick. Pretty silly :) Anyway, we all understand the directions here? Okay then, here comes the Hebrew:

Wow - the Hebrew here asks us to leave 1/3 of the wick below the stopper, and 2/3 above! Really, one wouldn't think that wick directions would be so confusing or complex. And one, of course, would be wrong :)

Here's hoping that by tomorrow night, the eighth and final Chanuka night of this year, we'll all have figured out how to light our flames!

~~~~~

By funny coincidence, we lit Chanuka candles at our cousins' house last night, in Eli. Why is this a coincidence? Because our hostess was our wonderful cousin Rena, who happened to have been interviewed by that same aforementioned Hannah on her other blog, Cooking Manager, just the same day! You can read the interview here.

Anyway, we very much enjoyed our vegan meal at their house - complete with super-delicious everything, and everything vegan: chili, cornbread, potato latkes, sweet potato latkes, sour cream, and even sufganiyot for dessert! And as always, we had a blast hanging out with all of our fun Eli cousins. But as a surprise bonus, I found this wonderful typo in the kitchen:

Now, please don't get me started on the whole bulghur/burgol thing. I'll just quickly sum up: for reasons that I cannot explain, what we know to be bulghur in English is called burgol in Hebrew. I don't understand it, but I've come to accept it. (Maybe Balashon can advise?) But I don't think even Israelis would accept it being called ourgul - that's just crazy talk :)

Happy Chanuka to all!

Look out!

2010-11-19T00:50:00.003+02:00

My friend Yoel (remember him?) was at the Dead Sea recently. Lucky him! And lucky all of us... he brought me back a sign! Check this out:

Wowee. Now granted, the Hebrew word tovani used here is a little tricky to translate - it comes from the root "drown," but would really be translated as boggy, or swampy. Kind of "drownable," if you will. Actually, come to think of it, chol tovani is quicksand - I wonder if that's what they're trying to say. Hmm. Well, whatever it is they're warning us about, it certainly is not drawning mud. Put in a little effort, guys, please? This is seemingly a potentially lifesaving sign - doesn't it warrant a quick dictionary look-up? Oh, I guess not :)

I also like the "Attention!!!" used here. First off, this was apparently written by someone who just loves exclamation points. But still, wouldn't "Danger!" "Warning!" or "Look Out!" be more appropriate here? Are we calling attention to the mud? Or are we asking the mud to stand at attention?

All in all, an excellent specimen - thank you, Yoel! And have a great week, everyone!

This may be just the one for you!

2010-11-12T00:25:00.003+02:00

There's a guy in our neighborhood who works in local real estate, and posts his listings quite often to our local email chat. The thing is, there are a lot of native English speakers in our town, and so he thoughtfully uses Google Translate to post in English as well. So considerate of him! I first noticed the resulting trouble a couple of years back, though, when he posted that a particular apartment had a:

Conveniently located near hope? Huh? Then I realized that he had translated from Mikva, our Jewish ritual bath - which looks quite like the Hebrew word for hope, and had evidently slipped through. Ridiculous, right? Can't get worse than that, right? But each time he posts, lo and behold, I find something new.

Almost every post has

And naturally

But sometimes, if you're lucky, you might get a:

That's surely helpful.

Perhaps you're looking for

That sounds pretty good, right? But what if I offered you

Then you'd really have to think about it.

There's certainly no beating a

I mean, who could possibly turn that down? And yet, I find this one almost as tempting:

Right? Come on, confess - aren't you just a little bit curious to see the giant?

You might think that in the market nowadays, people don't really expect payment - but it turns out:

Anyway, I've been saving these up for as long as I can remember. And then, when I saw this one last week, I thought - Toby! This is it!

This is the one that might actually get me to leave my beloved apartment! I mean, really! Even re-reading it now, I'm not sure why I haven't yet called. What an amazing perk!

Okay, all you Hebrew speakers out there - can any of you guess the origins of these mixed-up phrases?

Have a great week, everyone!

Goodbye, RivkA

2010-11-03T04:13:00.000+02:00

Well, I've been in kind of a slump. We were shocked and saddened to hear this past Friday that our friend from so long ago, RivkA Matitya, had left this world. We used to know RivkA back when we hung out in the Bnei Akiva building in Jerusalem in the early 90's - she was always there in the Yavne Olami office, where she spent so much of her time. She was always a burst of smiles and energy, and we were happy to talk with her, again and again!

Then we lost contact, and when I first heard about the Coffee and Chemo blog, I was sad to realize that it was written by that same sweet friend of ours from way back. Until I started actually reading her blog, and saw that RivkA wasn't in any kind of a slump herself - she was still all smiles and energy, but using it now to live her more adult life with her husband and kids. She was seemingly a whirlwind of energy, running from event to event, loving her family, teaching swimming classes (!) and more. We did get to actually reconnect in person a couple of times, at various happy occasions and at the JBloggers picnic that she organized in Jerusalem, just a little over a year ago. Here's the photo that I have from then - you can see her beaming (as she always has) in the middle:

To give you a small understanding of what she was like, here's part of one of her blog posts from 2007:

~~~

Okay, so here is the deal: I don't want people to look at me with sad, "droopy" eyes.

I don't want people to think of me and feel sad.

I don't want people to see me and feel sorry.

I don't want to be the cause of worry and concern.

I know that when you first hear the news, it's a bit of a shock. So it's okay to be sad in the beginning (I was too). But don't stay there!

You can ask me anything.

I'm totally open.

I don't mind talking about the cancer or what's going on.

Chemo certainly affects the day-to-day of my life, so there's no ignoring it.

But I really don't intend to hang out in some dark, depressing emotional pit.

So here's what I want:

When you think of me, be happy.

When you see me, smile.

~~~

Anyway, it didn't work - we were sad on Friday, and I know I've never cried as much at anyone's funeral as much as I did at hers, on Saturday night. Then Sunday morning came around, and I found this sun rising on the way to work - and somehow couldn't help but think that RivkA had gone from lighting up our world to lighting up the heavens:

And I started to realize that I was doing just the opposite of what she would have done - we're meant to be happy, and take advantage of every good thing that life gives us! If we can all start acting the way she did, the world will quickly become a far better place. So I'm going to try, and I hope you all will too!

In that spirit, here's a fast, funny sign that we found in Sharon, MA just a few weeks ago. I know, those of you from Massachusetts may not find this funny. But some of the rest of us do!

(By the way, as a humorous aside to our Boston trip: my Israeli coworkers are shocked that I [or anyone] can pronounce "Massachusetts." They claim that saying it aloud must be part of the U.S. naturalization test.)

May RivkA's family be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem! Shiva information can be found on her blog, Coffee and Chemo.

Please daven (or send happy thoughts) for the memory of RivkA bat Yishaya.

A new trend!

2010-10-28T22:57:00.000+02:00

I'm entirely honored! This is the second week in which I'm privileged to post something that was sent to me by more than one friend. Thanks, guys, for thinking of me!

First, my friend Jeff found the photo here, on the Hyper-Semitic blog. Thanks, Jeff, not only for the photo, but for introducing me to that blog!

And then, before I had a chance to post it, my friend Dena found the same exact sign in person, in the actual, live Central Park! Talk about a wacky coincidence. Get ready, everyone, here you go:

This is funny on many, many levels. As you can see, this helpful poster is warning us to be careful and stay away from stray animals that may carry rabies. It then goes to the trouble of translating the subject into many, many different languages. We the Jews are evidently worthy of two - both Hebrew and Yiddish! First, the fact that the city of New York is actively printing in Yiddish is a bit shocking to me, but hey - I've never lived in New York. Maybe that's not unusual. But here's the kicker - just like last week's post, the words here are both backward! Yep, left to right, instead of right to left.

Okay, we're up to two levels: one, printing in Yiddish, and two, doing it backward. What's three, I hear you cry? Well, according to the backward Yiddish, the word for rabies is Vassershrek. And according to Hyper-Semitic:

vasser-shrek= literally “water terror”. Probably related to foaming of the mouth.

Um, did you all know that Shrek means terror in Yiddish? Am I the only one left here with my jaw dropped open?

Thanks so much, everyone! And have a great week!

And now, some stuff for the Hebrew speakers

2010-10-21T21:39:00.002+02:00

This is going to be kind of a combination post. I'll start with this funny page from a book we considered buying while in the States. It's called Earth, by Jon Stewart. It was a bit pricey, so we left it on the shelf, but I noticed this page about Jews while flipping through. I thought this part was funny:

And then Dave noticed that in the text next to it, the Hebrew didn't seem to make any sense. Can you see why? (Tee-hee!)

So first of all, yes, the Hebrew doesn't have anything to do with the English. But second - look! It's all backwards! You know, just like what happens to us now and again when typing English and Hebrew together - except that we know how to fix it. So this passage is the beginning of Genesis, but with all the letters left to right, instead of right to left. Ha! Hmm, maybe it's not so funny - most people reading his book won't care. But I enjoyed it quite a bit, and now I'm giving you the opportunity to do the same.

And on that Hebrew blunders note, here's the second half of my post. This is a photo that has been going around the internet today - it was forwarded to me by no less than three of my friends (thanks Jay, Merav via Varda, and Inon!) and has featured prominently on at least one blog. And now, here at last, I present you:

Now, I'm not entirely sure if you'll all get this. While the Israelis are falling off their chairs in laughter, I'm going to try to explain to my Anglo readers: you can clearly see that this is Head & Shoulders shampoo. And yet the Hebrew ridiculously says "Eden Shodurs." This isn't entirely impossible, since many Israelis do skip over the H's in the beginnings of words. I personally really like that the L in shoulders became silent, in stark contrast (as pointed out by Rafi G.) to words like Lincoln, which becomes Linkolen in Hebrew.

And yet I wonder - could anyone really be so dumb as to have written this sign? I think the fact that the photo spread so quickly is also adding to my hunch that the photo is a hoax. And yet, it's so funny, I couldn't resist posting it, even if it is a hoax! Enjoy, my gentle readers!

Oh - I need to share some JBlogosphere news: RivkA (of Coffee and Chemo) has been hospitalized! As always, please daven (or send happy, healing thoughts) for RivkA bat Teirtzel. And if you'd like to sign up to say Tehilim, you can do that here. Refua Sheleima Umehira!

That's all for now - have a wonderful weekend!

Even in America

2010-10-12T05:58:00.003+02:00

Well, you may not all know this, but even as I type, Dave and I are on a fun-filled vacation in the States! We've been in Boston since Thursday afternoon, and are headed out to Chicago tomorrow night, where we'll be through Sunday. If you're in either of those locations, we would love to see you!

Anyway, needless to say, I haven't been doing much blogging recently. Who has time? But I didn't want to leave you all waiting around... and I really couldn't resist after finding what I found! Just wait - here it comes:

We were out at lunch with friends in Boston. The place was lovely: good food, big portions, and not too expensive. As we were walking out, Dave grabbed a menu. "Maybe you'll find something for your blog," he suggested. I reminded him that we were in the US, and that people know how to write in English - but then again, it's always good to have an extra menu, so I stuck it in my bag. And there it rested until last night. When I took it out, I think I may have yelped out loud. Can you believe it? Right there on the cover:

Can you believe it? I'm really not sure that I can! I mean, I know that Mediterranean is a long word. Maybe they didn't want to use a smaller font or something, maybe they figured no one was likely to really read the whole word... but on the cover? Mediterrean? Come on. For shame!

On the other hand, this makes me feel much better about all those mistakes I find in Israel :)

I hope to be back on my regular posting schedule soon - in the meantime, take care, all of you!

Shana Tova - Happy New Year!

2010-09-17T16:04:00.000+02:00

It's a few hours away from Yom Kipur, and I don't want to make fun of anyone! However, I found this doozy that I wanted to share with you all: we ordered some "Sushi for Tzedaka" this afternoon to have before/after the fast. It was made by two lovely local teenagers who are raising money for a good cause. I went to pick it up, and here's what I got:

Isn't that adorable? For those who can't read Hebrew, it says Tsom Kal, Have an Easy Fast. Isn't that sweet? And totally impressive - I can barely cut carrots straight, much less carve them.

Anyway, I second that emotion: Have an easy fast, everyone! And a sweet sweet new year!

Rosh HaShana - Happy New Year, everyone!

2010-09-08T12:33:00.000+03:00

Well, I want to wish you all a happy, healthy, sweet new year. Nope, no typos there, just friendly wishes for everyone!

However, Dave found this funny business card for me to post a while ago, and I thought it would go well with our seasonal sweet theme. (Halva does mean sweet, after all, as we all surely recall.) Anyway, a friend came to our house for Shabat, and brought us some delicious, sweet Halva from the shuk (Jerusalem's Mahane Yehuda Market). We do love Halva! But later, Dave noticed that the wrapper said:

He found it quite funny that they seemed so lacking in self confidence.

On the one hand: We rule! We are the Halva Kingdom!
And on the other hand: Do we make Halva? Well, we make kind of halvas. Yeah, they're pretty close. Come, try some!

I can personally vouch that the Halva we had was absolutely scrumptious! Here's hoping that this year,Halva Kingdom will feel better about themselves, and change their wrappers accordingly. And here's hoping that we all have a year as sweet as that Halva! Yum, this is making me hungry.

שנה טובה ומתוקה לכולנו!

Just right for the beach!

2010-08-20T00:54:00.002+03:00

Here's one that I got from a friend of mine who asked to remain anonymous, so as not to get caught making fun of his company in public. I suppose that's reasonable :)

Here's the email he received, inviting him to one of their yearly events:

Isn't this that New York concept for what we put on bagels? I guess this is the Israeli version. "Yes, I'll take a sumeer of that chumus right here on my pita, thanks!"

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Tag, you're it!

2010-08-15T01:15:00.001+03:00

I think this may be the longest I've gone without posting since starting this blog. Two weeks! What can I say, things have been really, really busy. It's August! We're doing our best to do lots of fun things and take advantage of the remainder of our summer vacation. To those of you reading this, thanks for waiting for me! I'll do my best to make this post worth the wait.

But meanwhile, important virtual events have taken place: I've been tagged in a meme! What an honor. Miriyummy (you may remember her as Mirj, my longtime online friend, who's found typos of all sizes for us) started a really great blog not long ago, and was tagged in a meme on Tu Be'Av, Israel's version of Valentine's Day. Actually, I think that technically, Tu Be'Av came first, so maybe Valentine's Day may be the copycat holiday, but that's irrelevant. The point is, I've been tagged in a meme where one needs to post one's favorite Jewish love song.

By now, it's been almost three weeks since Tu Be'Av, but I figure it's not really too late. How inappropriate can it be to share music? The trouble was choosing a song - I really enjoy Israeli music, and just can't narrow it down to one favorite. So I'm choosing the Israeli love song that I've consistently liked for the longest. It's called Shir Ahava Bedoui, A Bedouin Love Song - the version I know is by David Broza, but I think it may have been performed originally by someone else. At any rate, this song one of the first that I really got to know in Hebrew, back in 1992. My first Israeli friends played this kind of stuff for me every day, and after a while, I could speak Hebrew! Like magic.

So thanks, Mirj, for thinking of me. In case this meme hasn't yet expired, I tag Mrs. S. of Our Shiputzim, and RivkA of Coffee and Chemo. You're it!

And now, back to our regularly scheduled program.
We went out for my husband's birthday last week. My ever-alert children found this on the menu, and thought it was the funniest thing they had seen all week. "You're going to take a picture, right? It's so funny!" they all cried. And so, I present you with our latest:

Do you get it? Do you see? Up 7. Ha!! Well, some of us were amused :)
Plus, as many of you pointed out, this restaurant offers Spda Water. Generally, it's more appealing to keep the Sp out of one's water, I think!

And last but not least, here are some absolutely excellent links that you should check out at your earliest convenience. First, the aforementioned Mrs. S. has found some wonderful signs. I couldn't have done it better myself! And secondly, my dear brother has been traveling all over, and has presented us with his latest hilarious update. Enjoy!

That's it for now. Have a wonderful week, everyone!

And now, the ones you've all been waiting for...

2010-07-29T23:19:00.000+03:00

This package really made me smile when I found it in a Jerusalem grocery store. This is the back of a bag of some innocent looking, knock-off Rice Krispies. Granted, it's only got one actual typo. But still, I liked the attention that the vitamins are finally receiving here. It's about time - don't they deserve it? Come on, everyone, let's have a big round of applause, for: the vitamins!!

And to think, I knew them when they were just starting out...

Bloopers from near and far

2010-07-16T18:47:00.000+03:00

Here's another great one from Mirj, my online friend of much previous fame. On this cereal that she found, not only did they misspell "nougat," they managed to do it again on the side, in a whole new and refreshing way! There is a happy myriad of other typos there, if you look carefully. (Feel free to click on the photo to enlarge it, if you have trouble reading it.) I'm not sure which is my favorite, I just know that each time I look closely, I find another. I think I'm leaning toward the "No Preservation."
:)

In other breaking news, my friend Shimon from work forwarded this funny screen shot to me. It's not an Israeli blooper; this actually hails from my old home town of Chicago. And what do we learn from this? That it's always fun to make fun of anyone else's lack of geography knowledge:

And what else do we learn? I absolutely love it when you guys do the scouting for me! Thanks, Mirj and Shimon!

Have a great weekend, all!

Ee eye ee eye oh

2010-07-09T18:39:00.000+03:00

This one is almost unbelievable. My friend Yoel (remember him?) found this down in Ashdod. Lucky me, he thoughtfully stopped to take a photo! What do we think of this, gentle readers?

Since it's got that snake-on-a-staff sign on the side, I have to assume that it's a pharmacy. But actually, it could be a catchy new term for a farm-equipment store. Right? Maybe we're onto a great new idea! Any takers?

Anyway, Yoel is celebrating 17 years of living in Israel this week. Mazal tov! I appreciate that you still notice these things, after having been here so long. And even better, thanks for thinking of me!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Tastes kind of... squeezy

2010-06-30T18:09:00.002+03:00

There's an online shopping service in the Jerusalem area that sends out occasional emails with their latest deals. I received this from them last week, and within 3 minutes had received additional copies from my friends Ricky and Dena. Thanks, guys!

It's a good one... are you ready? Here goes:

I have a hard enough time getting good tights for my daughters - this is really a great opportunity! Get them while you can!

Or, if you've already provided your fowl with stockings, you may still need some kits for your pet fish - they're further down in the ad.

Have a great week, everyone!

Haveil Havalim - The Almost Summer Vacation Edition

2010-06-26T22:46:00.003+03:00

Yes, I know - most of you are already deep into summer vacation. You're probably reading this right now on your laptop on the beach. Wait, I think I can hear the ocean spray! But alas - some of us still have kids in school until the very last day in June. Sigh. Soon, soon I'll join you all....

To help us pass the time until then, here's another edition of Haveil Havalim! My last edition didn't go over so well - in my enthusiasm, I forgot to include categories. But this time I think I've got the hang of it. To remind you all: Haveil Havalim is a weekly roundup of blog posts from all over the world, written by Jewish and/or Israeli bloggers. Bloggers take turns hosting, and this week is my turn! Or, in official lingo:

Founded by Soccer Dad, Haveil Havalim is a carnival of Jewish blogs -- a weekly collection of Jewish & Israeli blog highlights, tidbits and points of interest collected from blogs all around the world. It's hosted by different bloggers each week and coordinated by Jack. The term 'Haveil Havalim,' which means "Vanity of Vanities," is from Qoheleth, (Ecclesiastes) which was written by King Solomon. King Solomon built the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and later on got all bogged down in materialism and other 'excesses' and realized that it was nothing but 'hevel,' or in English, 'vanity.'

And so, with no further ado, Haveil Havalim!

Humor (it's always good to start with humor, don't you think?)

Jacob Richman has a great new educational tool at Good News from Israel: New Website: Learn English with Jokes and Riddles at Good News from Israel.

Ilana-Davita has another great Weekly Interview: Robin at Ilana-Davita.

Heshy Fried has an interesting list of Stuff old Jewish people like at Frum Satire.

Mrs. S. would like A little consideration, please at Our Shiputzim: A Work In Progress.

Benji Lovitt is still blogging! Check out Hey, America: It's the World Cup! GO! FIGHT! WIN! at What War Zone???.

Oh, and I posted a silly bus stop sign at A Time of the Signs.

Israel

Rahel has a great story at More Citizen Activism (or, The Squeaky Wheel Gets the Shekel) at Elms in the Yard.

Ben-Yehudah shares with us his Response To Israel Online Ambassadors' "3 Minutes To Israel" at Esser Agaroth.

Lady-Light shares a video at Jerusalem is a Jewish Emotion at Tikkun Olam.

Joel Katz presents Religion and State in Israel - June 21, 2010 (Section 1) and Religion and State in Israel - June 21, 2010 (Section 2) at Religion and State in Israel.

David Levy found some wacky videos: Israeli Crazy Chef occupies YouTube at Jewschool.

Harry reports a bizarre news story: Desert survivalist defies the odds a second time at ISRAELITY. He then tells us a more personal story at Accepting responsibility for Israel’s security. And last but not least, an interesting observation: Hollywood stories.

Jewish Israel gives us some interesting news: Interfaith Jesus resort to open on shores of Galilee at Shiloh Musings.

Jacob Richman shows us the cool New Israeli Educational Stamps Posted Online at Good News from Israel.

Eric invites you to Join the Team or Guest Post at IsraelSituation.com at The Israel Situation. He then presents us with the Top 10 Quotes About Israel.

Personal

Susan Barnes reflects on Distracted Driving at To Kiss A Mezuzah.

Lady-Light gives us a relaxing story and some helpful videos at Good Company, Good Weather: A Lovely Shabbat at Tikkun Olam. She also brings us Father's Day Outing and Our Father's Day Outing (Part II) at Tikkun Olam.

Batya appreciates her community in Shiloh, the Greatest Neighbors at Shiloh Musings.

Leigh Ann Kopans discusses Why is Frugality Important to Me? at The Frugal Ima.

Chaviva tells us about her Adventures in Covering! at Just call me Chaviva.

Susan Barnes tells us a great story: Primal Fear, Primal Awe at To Kiss A Mezuzah.

Congratulations! Mirjam Weiss celebrates 35 Dog Years at Miriyummy.

Ruti Mizrachi shares are funny story: "Anachnu lomdim Ivrit b'yachad." * at Ki Yachol Nuchal!.

Batya gives us an update about My Parents, As Of Now... at me-ander.

Rickismom knows that this should be Never Blasé at Beneath the Wings.

Minnesota Mamaleh gives us a Father's Day tribute: Minnesota Mamaleh: About a Mensch | TC Jewfolk at TC Jewfolk.

RivkA is having a hard time, but is deserving of our Mazal Tovs! Check out her Medical Update and more at Coffee and Chemo.

Culture

Mordechai Torczyner has an insightful perspective on Synagogue Bathrooms at The Rebbetzin's Husband.

Chana Rubin tells us about Exercise - How Much Is Enough? at Healthy Kosher Eating With Chana.

Judaism

Allison Josephs answers an interesting question: Do You Really Believe that Not Eating Pork Brings You Closer to God? at Jew in the City.

Leora has an Interview with Batya about Managing a Shiva House at Here in HP.

Rachel Barenblat anticipates My last rabbinic school residency at Velveteen Rabbi.

Mordechai Torczyner explains Why a rabbi teaches Jewish History at The Rebbetzin's Husband.

Anthony thinks it's Religion Taken Too Far at The Israel Situation.

Ben-Yehudah has Some Thoughts On The Fast Of The Fourth Month (17 Tammuz) at Esser Agaroth.

History

Independent Patriot has an interesting perspective in From Sinai to Philadelphia and Back Again at Liberty's Spirit.

Elisson has a whole new shocking twist on Michael Pollan: A LIFE OF CONTRADICTIONS at Lost in the Cheese Aisle.

Dave looks into the etymology of namel at Balashon.

Antisemitism

Batya discusses Cruelty to Animals, Shechita (Jewish Animal Slaughter) and Hunting posted Shiloh Musings.

Torah

Batya has an interesting observation on the parasha in Twenty-Four Thousand, 24,000 at Shiloh Musings.

Risa helped create More blooming in the desert! at Isramom.

Joshua Waxman looks into True peshat in Petorah at parshablog.

Kashrut

Joshua Waxman presents Anisakis worms are disgusting! From Ravina to Rav Moshe at parshablog.

Politics

Independent Patriot delves into an Alternative Reality, Parallel Universe, Down the Rabbit Hole at Liberty's Spirit. Independent Patriot also presents Irgun Offspring and the Zero Sum Game at Liberty's Spirit.

Lady-Light would prefer to put this in a category called "The Big Lie." Here comes What Do Muslims Have to do with America? at Tikkun Olam. And then an update, at Correction to Previous Post: Muslims Did Contribute.

Yisrael Medad examines an upcoming Harvard Alumni tour: Oh So Notable - Not at My Right Word. Yisrael Medad also presents Leftwing Liberal Thinking, and Example of Alternative History.

David Morris shows us: Gush Katif: "The State of Israel has Totally Failed at Tzedek-Tzedek.

~~~

And so we conclude this edition of Haveil Havalim! If I’ve somehow managed to omit your submission, please send me an e-mail at 321toby at gmail dot com and I’ll be happy to plug it in. Next week, the Fourth of July, we'll be hosted by The Rebbetzin's Husband. Don’t forget to submit your carefully-selected blog articles to that edition of Haveil Havalim using the handy-dandy Blog Carnival submission form!

Have a great week, all - Happy Summer!

Lithe as always

2010-06-21T19:37:00.000+03:00

We went to my brother Aaron's house this past weekend, and had a great time. Good company, good food, and lots of fun. And as an added bonus - I found this bus stop:

Huh? I'm assuming that they were going for alighting here, yet another word that I know to exist, although no one I know ever says it aloud. Answers.com lists their second definition of alight as: To get down, as from a vehicle; dismount: The queen alighted from the carriage. So yes, although that may be a bit fancy, I think that is indeed the word they were going for. But alithing - where did that come from? All I can imagine is that some Israeli saw the ght in alight and decided to "fix" it...

:)

Just baffling - a double post

2010-06-10T19:34:00.003+03:00

Well, kind of. There's a sign that I find very funny, but it's in Hebrew. So for those of you who don't speak Hebrew, I'll try to explain.

See this sign?

It's very common, and can be found all over the country. It means Watch Out! There are Children in the Road!

Not so funny. Yes, I do know. But here comes the silly part. The way that one says "watch out" in Hebrew is sim lev, which literally means "put heart." Why is she bothering us with this nonsense, I hear you sigh. Well, because you need to understand that when you take out the "heart" part, that sign means "Put Children In the Road! As seen here, on a very unfortunately sun-bleached sign in my neighborhood:

Ha!

It's not really a typo, so I'm doubling it up with a funny sweatshirt that I saw this past week. Check it out:

See, that's funny too! But not necessarily funny enough to post all on its own, so I figured I'd add it in here. One day, I really should do a post with clothing - the English on printed shirts here is astoundingly entertaining.

That's all for now, folks - have a great day!

Back at last - with the latest from Africa!

2010-05-30T11:16:00.021+03:00

I'm sorry that it's been so long since I last posted, everyone! It's been a crazy couple of weeks, but things seem to be settling down, now.

Not too long ago, our good friend (and cousin) Arie came back from an overseas trip, and brought me some funny photos, all the way from... Togo! I'm glad that I finally have a chance to post them here.

Just so you know, Togo holds a special place in my heart - back in sixth grade, I wrote a report about Togo. Why did I choose it, I hear you cry? Well, I remember appreciating the fact that we shared a four letter name that began with tee-oh. But I also liked that it was a small, modest country that I hadn't heard of before. And now, after all these years, to think that I'm coming full circle and featuring it on my blog! Well, it's really something.

Anyway, on to the signs! Here's what Arie found:

I like that one a lot. They seem pretty confident, for that little country that I remember. But check out this one:

Good thing that their typos aren't cause for embarrassment :)

But really, that one is cool. Way to cover their bases - it seems that enough embarrassment occurs on this beach to warrant a sign! We can forgive them the misspellings, right? Come on, I think Togo is even smaller than Israel... oh, nope, I just checked. According to Wikipedia, Togo is about 3 times as large as Israel. Wow, do I live in a small country.

Thanks again, Arie! And have a great week, all!

Caution! Ridiculous Signage Ahead!

2010-05-11T22:44:00.001+03:00

.
So, as you may have heard, we have a fuzzy new member of our family. Unfortunately for her, though, the only pet shop in our immediate area closed down last year. (The funny aside here is that a steakhouse opened up in its place. A little creepy, no?)

Anyway, in order to buy rabbit food and supplies, we now need to go into Jerusalem. And of course, the pet shop that was highly recommended to me is located right in the center of town, which is currently under construction. I went there last Friday, and no, getting there and parking were not easy. In the end it was all worth it, though - check out what was waiting for me:

Every so often I wonder how long I'll be able to keep this blog going. And then I find things like this and stop worrying :)

And as one more side note - the pet shop guy said that if I find five families in Gush Etsion who are interested in buying from him, he will deliver to us! If it's at all tempting, he carries Science Diet dog food. Intrigued, anyone?

Have a great week, everybody!

Haveil Havalim - The La"g La'Omer Edition

2010-05-01T23:29:00.011+03:00

Well, here we are again. I haven't actually participated in Haveil Havalim for quite a while, but hosting is always fun, so I figured I would give it a shot. For those of you who haven't been to my blog before, feel free to take a minute or two and look around! And for those of you who are regular frequenters of my blog (thanks, guys!) but don't yet know what Haveil Havalim is, here's a fast sum-up: HH is a weekly roundup of blog posts from all over the world, written by Jewish and/or Israeli bloggers. Bloggers take turns hosting, and this week is my turn! Or, in official jargon:

Founded by Soccer Dad, Haveil Havalim is a carnival of Jewish blogs -- a weekly collection of Jewish & Israeli blog highlights, tidbits and points of interest collected from blogs all around the world. It's hosted by different bloggers each week and coordinated by Jack. The term 'Haveil Havalim,' which means "Vanity of Vanities," is from Qoheleth, (Ecclesiastes) which was written by King Solomon. King Solomon built the Holy Temple in Jerusalem and later on got all bogged down in materialism and other 'excesses' and realized that it was nothing but 'hevel,' or in English, 'vanity.'

Anyway, it seems I host when barbecuing is involved - first on the Fourth of July, and now on La"g La'Omer. Yes, I know that most of us call one that La"g Ba'Omer, but my dear husband, Balashon, says it might be otherwise, and I like to back him up.

Oh, and one more thing - I think that people sometimes tend to only visit blogs that they recognize, and skip the ones less known to them. So in the name of equal opportunity, I'm listing the posts by description only, and in the order that they were submitted. I hope you enjoy it, and maybe even find some new blogs! And if you don't enjoy it, sorry - you can host next time and do it the way that you like :)

And so, with no further ado - Haveil Havalim!

Should we be looking for our rewards in this world or in that to come?

What does it take to be Israeli? Here's a great attempt at the chutzpah aspect.

A blogger and his shul were featured on MSNBC.com. How exciting!

Some art and poetry, for a change of pace.

It is what it is: a concise Metamorphosis of a Mother.

When is change in Judaism a good thing? The door to discussion has been opened.

Not one... not two... but 38 interesting links about Lag Ba'Omer!

Is the censoring of "South Park" indicative of worldwide fear?

A nice review of media coverage on issues of religion and state in Israel.

And a little more.

An interesting perspective on volunteering in the IDF.

A difficult Shabat... can you guess why?

An interesting article: Gaza Boat Organizers Endorse Terrorism

One more: Peace yes. Normalization? Not really...

An upcoming chuppah!

How would you choose a mikveh in this situation?

An intriguing view we don't often get to see - stepparenting.

Our security rests in our hands alone.

The glaring omission of Bob.

A really interesting new use for graffiti!

A young Rabbi is trying to dispense with marriage altogether - I haven't heard this one before...

A fast, interesting Dvar Tora about why Shabbos is listed in the middle of the parsha of the Festivals

Women who have taken taharat hamishpacha upon themselves shouldn't let anyone else cheapen it for them.

Don't we want to chat?

Building and Bibi.

A different, insightful definition of "Time-bound."

Do we prefer roller coasters or tea cups? Good question.

Is Israel at peace with Egypt and Jordan? I guess it depends who you ask.

An interesting effect of today's technology on teenagers.

One of many stark differences between 12th grade girls and 12th grade boys.

Do the stories we tell our children set us up for disappointment? Intriguing.

An interesting look at different kinds of Blog Carnivals.

Some nice photos and descriptions of the non-densely populated hills of Judea and Samaria.

How to make a child-friendly, virtual bonfire for Lag B'Omer.

Wow - a Pro-Israel, Zionist Palestinian Organization!

How intriguing - perhaps we should all paint our floors yellow.

A thorough and interesting book review: Unlocking the Torah Text: Vayikra.

How do you feel about saddle shoes? You may find yourself with a new appreciation after reading this.

When do you feel blessed?

Hebrew Charter Schools - Wave of the Future?

It's always easy to blame the victims.

Some bloopers from the Jewish Week and the Jerusalem Post.

And here are a few good ones that I happened to come across, although they weren't officially submitted:

Happy Blogiversary!

Ongoing tensions in Ramat Bet Shemesh (there are a few entries on this one).

Which plotlines do you avoid?

Making lemonade out of lemons, as always.

Women leaving Orthodoxy?

Did you know that brushing your teeth is good for more than just your teeth?

She's back!

Our thieving children... for the greater good?

Seven pounds of black furry love.

A handful of family.

Is Artzot HaBrit singular or plural?

and of course :)

That concludes this edition of Haveil Havalim! If I’ve somehow managed to omit a submission, please send me an e-mail at 321toby at gmail dot com and I’ll be happy to plug it in. And don’t forget to submit your carefully-selected blog articles to the next edition of Haveil Havalim using our handy-dandy Blog Carnival submission form!

Happy Lag BaOmer!

Burgers, third time's the charm

2010-04-26T18:18:00.001+03:00

My friend Aviva (hi, Aviva!) mentioned to me that she saw a funny item listed on a menu from Burger's Bar, a restaurant that we often enjoy. Apparently they now have a Lamp Warp on their menu! I found it a little curious, since I've gone over that menu quite a few times, and didn't remember seeing anything like that. But I also know that the menu has occasionally changed, and so when we got one in the mail, I decided to take a look.

Lo and behold, here's what I found!

Now I just have to tell you - I saw that menu a few months ago, and there were no warps on it. Not a one! It's true, we did see that one on the wall all that time ago, but never on the paper menus. Which got me thinking - do they actually retype their menus, every single time? How strange. Or perhaps they were advised that warp was the proper spelling, and went specifically to change them all? Hmm, but the header still says wrap. What can I say? I find this really strange. And that's not even accounting for the edible lamps :)

While I was looking, I also found this:

Neither of them are chilly, like we saw last time. I wonder if there's some deep meaning here that I'm missing...

Thanks for spotting this, Aviva! And have a great week, all!

Yom HaAtzmaut!

2010-04-20T08:05:00.001+03:00

Chag Sameach! Today is Yom HaAtzmaut, Israel's Independence Day! We are feeling happy and patriotic, and I am not going to make fun of Israel today :)

However, I thought this was a good opportunity to share this cool cool trick with you, which I was fortunate enough to find on Matzo Ball Soup. It really works!

Amaze your family and friends! I pretty much haven't stopped doing it since I watched it :)

Chag Sameach, everyone!

Ah, America

2010-04-16T10:21:00.006+03:00

I know it's not nice to make fun. I feel strongly about this (just ask my kids), which is why my writing this blog is always a little bit tricky. Don't you think the world would be a better place if we were all just nice to each other?

Then I see things like this, generously sent to me from the States by my favorite middle younger brother. I see it, and I get this strange, gloating feeling. I don't want to be that kind of a person. I don't. But there's a combination of issues here. One, I tend to give myself a hard time for being indecisive. And two, I tend to give Israelis a hard time for not being eloquent in Hebrew. But when they do this in America, it makes my indecisiveness seem suddenly insignificant. And it makes all those Israeli blunders seem less awful, somehow. No?

Come on, America!
Oh, unless they were doing this for comic relief. In that case, way to go, America!

The Eilat Edition - Take Two

2010-04-09T15:24:00.001+03:00

I found myself in an auto repair shop (yes, everything's fine) this past week. I noticed a sign on the wall there that said "The cheques are not accepted here." I wanted to take a photo, but the people there seemed pretty grumpy to begin with, and I was hoping to stay on their good side. The whole episode reminded me, though, that I never posted my other funny photos from Eilat. And some of them have that same theme: The Extraneous The. These were found at our hotel:

Then some of them were just plain funny:

This one was at the bottom of the water slide:

Dave really liked this one:

I think this may be my favorite, though. We found it at the Underwater Observatory - I always admire graphics that really work to get their point across:

I guess that's it for now. Have a great weekend, everyone!

Lotsa Matza

2010-04-01T00:05:00.001+03:00

It's true. I don't like to get stressed about Pesach preparation, and I like to think of myself as relatively calm and level-headed about the whole thing. This is a holiday, after all! This year was no exception, and I don't recall being particularly stressed, but the fact remains that I did pay more attention to what was in my box of matz a than what was on it, and that's just not like me. In truth, it was only when my friend Abi (thanks, Abi!) pointed out what she had found on her box that I found a second to look at mine. And I'm so glad that I did! Here's what Abi found:

I do not think it means what they think it means.

Have a great rest of your Pesach, everyone!

Pesach - 2010

2010-03-26T00:34:00.001+02:00

Well, it's almost Pesach/Passover again. We're all busy, I know, but I did want to take the opportunity to wish you all a happy holiday, and to share a few links with you, in good blogging style:

1) Mrs. S. posted a delicious looking recipe for charoset today. It got my mouth watering, and now I think I'm ready for Pesach! Go and check it out!

2) I've noticed a few bloggers posting this sign this past week, and they're right, it's very fitting for the season. What, trucks aren't equally deserving? So I figured I'll join along and repost it here too. Enjoy!

3) And of course, if this really is a Pesach edition, I need to link here, to one of my most thorough posts. In all modesty, I really like that one, and its sequel, here. Enjoy, and use them well!

4) And here's something I came across today, on the back of some Passover cereal:

So first of all, I find it very funny that Telma cereal chose these two guys to show us how great we can be, if only we eat their product. Maybe it's just me, but I don't find them particularly inspirational. Maybe even kind of depressing. But as I was pondering this, I looked a little closer, and decided that really, this photo would be a good submission for a different blog that I enjoy, Photoshop Disasters. I mean, what's going on in that purple sweatshirt? It looks like he's storing some books in there, or something. And is it just me, or is something quirky going on with his right leg/foot? Feel free to click on the photo to enlarge it, then maybe you'll see what I'm talking about.

Or maybe I'm just tired from scrubbing the stovetop :) Happy Pesach, everyone!

Signs - the Eilat Edition

2010-03-18T23:01:00.001+02:00

Well, my family and I are ending up a fun filled vacation in Eilat. It turns out that if you go on vacation the week before school vacation begins, prices at nice hotels are actually affordable :) Anyway, we're leaving tomorrow morning, and I thought I'd share a few of the things that we found down here. Eilat is really a prime location for bloopers - not a large Anglo community to self-correct, and yet the urge to write a lot of signs in English, in order to appeal to the huge tourist population. Enjoy!

Not so bad, I know. And yet, it's huge and permanent - that makes it funny in my book! Try this one:

I think I liked that one because it was trying to be soooo classy, with it's hoity toity font. Also, it looks kind of like coerce. Dunno.

That's funny, right? We don't eat red meat in our house, so I don't have a lot of experience with this, but isn't it rib-eye steak? Eye steak sounds totally creepy to me. I'm sure the bred makes it taste better, though. Anyway, I've saved the best for last:

This is funny on many levels. Obviously, the spelling is absurd, and here it is, on an important looking building. But even if we get past that, what's the concept here? Is it a police force made up of tourists, like a neighborhood watch? Or are these guys policing tourists only? Either way, I'm giggling.

Stay tuned next week for the rest of my Eilat signs. Have a great weekend, everyone!

The Spice of Life - Part One

2010-03-11T07:21:00.000+02:00

Ever since finding this wonderful label a couple of months ago, I've paid more attention to the spice rack. It's really a great source of fun! For a brief example, here are some goodies I found on a single trip to the supermarket:

That's not so bad, right? I think it's particularly cute next to this one, though:

Then we just get silly:

Okay, non-Hebrew speakers - care to wager a guess at that one?

And here's my current favorite:

Ah, that's the stuff :) Nothing like this spice blend to make your stake even stakier...

I'm confident that there are plenty more like these to be found, and promise to post more when I do. Meanwhile, if you've seen any, please feel free to send them in! Have a great week, everyone!

Hmmm

2010-03-04T19:53:00.001+02:00

I'm so glad you came by! You're just in time to help solve a disagreement in our household. Some of us think that this is nothing special, and some of us find it entirely hilarious. What do you think?

Um, so, isn't the corncob the part that we throw away? The yucky, inedible part, with no flavor?

Maybe it's just me.

You don't want these guys to do your floors

2010-02-25T07:46:00.000+02:00

.
Here's something from a longtime supporter and first time contributor, our friend Yoel. It's something that I've always found funny in Hebrew, but never actually seen in English. Apparently I've been on the wrong roads, because Yoel told me he sees this all over the place:

Yoel said (and I wholeheartedly agree) these "scrubbed road" ones always crack me up. Like someone's been cleaning it all night with soap and sponge, so you'd better not get it dirty.

Totally true! I always thought this was silly wording, and figured, "back in the Old Country, they didn't have goofy signs like this." Right? Obviously Americans have a better way of telling us that the road is under construction, and temporarily bumpy. But I couldn't remember the word, for the life of me. I tried googling it, and suddenly recalled that in Boston, they used this:

(that helpful pic found here, thanks!)

Anyway, scarified sounds equally ridiculous to me - like something out of Scooby Doo. So this is seemingly a problem all over the world. Has anyone out there seen a more normal version that they'd care to share? I will happily update this post with your contribution!

Meanwhile, have a great day, and Happy Purim!

The very latest in weight-loss products

2010-02-18T07:31:00.003+02:00

Here's an oldie that I've had waiting for a while. Dave and I were in SuperPharm, a chain of Walgreen's type stores here in Israel. While waiting in line at the pharmacy, Dave noticed this funny little box:

Can you guess what's in this package? The funny thing is (and what those of you who don't speak Hebrew might not initially understand), this is a box of... mosquito repellent! The Hebrew word for mosquito is "yetoosh," and so the makers of this product were trying to be clever - Stop being a word that most Israelis easily know, and Tush being a cutesy name for mosquito. Needless to say, that is not the idea that popped into our heads upon finding this box...

Have a great day, everyone!

How very chivalrous

2010-02-10T07:37:00.004+02:00

My dear brother in law, Menashe (I'm sure you remember him from posts like this and this, at the very least), recently found a funny packaging detail in his branch of the Shufersal grocery chain. Since I go to that same chain, but in a different location, I looked for it the next time I went. Lo and behold, it was right there, waiting for me, and so I took out my trusty camera.

Looks innocent enough, right? Little did you know that this is the most considerate, chivalrous mouse around. Let's flip it over to see what it says on the back:

So first of all, it's very informative. I never knew that the ultimate movement speed of normal man is 25 inches. Did you? That really explains a lot.

But did you see the best part? This one's suitable for the ladies! Finally.

And so, all of you ladies out there who think you don't have a sweet enough deal, maybe this here mouse will change your perspective. It's just for you! Who could ask for anything more :)

Have a great day, everyone!

A double whammy

2010-02-02T23:43:00.006+02:00

.
Some of my fans are upset. There's a tremendously funny sign that's been spotted in Jerusalem's Mamilla Mall, and I didn't catch it first. That's okay, everyone! There are thankfully enough goofy signs out there that I don't mind sharing the limelight. However, since Zev (who took this photo in the first place) said he didn't mind if I posted it too, here you go:

Impressive and embarrassing, all at once! This sign is trying (in Hebrew, at least) to point out a passageway for disabled folk. The trouble here is that Hebrew doesn't have vowels, and so ma'avar (passageway) and me'ever (beyond) are spelled the same way. That's not generally a problem, since any human can figure out the correct context that the word is supposed to match. But it seems that Google Translate has gotten us once again - when I plugged these Hebrew words in, 'beyond disabled' is exactly what popped up as the English translation! Not so shocking, really; we've seen the blunders of Google Translate before. I think what is shocking is that whoever wrote this sign didn't think to double check with anyone before they rushed to print it up!

Anyway, that sign is fantastic, but it's not technically mine. So I figure this is as good a time as any to share with you all a different sign that I found at that same Mamilla mall, a couple of months ago:

Ha! My kids generally prefer pickles in vinegar to those in dill, but if they're really that big, I suppose they might reconsider...

Have a great day, everyone!

Okay, you tell me

2010-01-27T22:38:00.001+02:00

I see this one almost every week, and almost every week it makes me chuckle out loud. Why? I'm not sure I can even put it into words. Maybe the imagery behind personal sponges just doesn't mingle well in my head with food?

Yeah. Yeah, that's probably it :)

A simply splendid post

2010-01-21T21:26:00.000+02:00

There's an older guy at my office who keeps things. I don't know how else to describe it - if there's anything you need, just ask him, and it's likely that he has it. He likes collecting old broken stuff, fixing it up, and giving it out to his friends. Furthermore, he's pretty handy at building new things out of what others would label junk. I'm pleased to list myself among his friends, and over the years, he's helped me out, and I've happily provided him with lots of broken stuff in return :)

A couple of months ago, he came to my desk, and offered me a wristwatch. I recalled my oldest daughter asking for a new one, and so I figured I'd bring it home and see if she was interested. She really liked it, since it had one of those stretchy bands, and since it fit, she slipped it right on. That's why I didn't get a close look at it until later. Imagine my surprise:

Unbelievable, right? I just don't get tired of this stuff.

By the way, I have to recommend this post that I saw today at Lovely Listings. If you haven't seen this blog before, go now! Sara is always, always laugh-out-loud funny - you won't regret going back and checking her daily!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Officers only?

2010-01-14T07:43:00.004+02:00

Our friends Lonnie and Jeff were in Ein Chemed recently, and found this wonderful, wonderful specimen. Just look at it!

For those of you who can't read Hebrew, and are perhaps a bit confused: this sign is trying to direct us to the washroom/bathroom/powder room/facilities/whatever you choose to call that important place that everyone's always embarrassed to talk about. So, now do you get it? Ha! See, had they gone for the "officers only" version instead of "water closet," they would have had a much easier time, it seems. But I've never seen anyone make this mistake before. Wow!

Thanks for thinking of me, guys - this is great!

Happy Anniversary!

2010-01-08T02:08:00.000+02:00

My brothers and I were actually pretty efficient in getting an anniversary gift for my parents, a few weeks ago. For once, we managed to coordinate and choose something together, despite our living in four different cities, on two different continents. Wow, just typing that really puts life in perspective... Anyway, a few days after their anniversary, my father emailed me a photo of the box that our gift had arrived in; he thought I would enjoy it. Just so you understand, we got them a funky chala cutting board that sneakily opens into a bread basket. Of course, it's an Israeli product, and so you never know where the spelling will take you:

As I said to my Dad, this seems to be a gift that keeps on giving. But still, it was pretty embarrassing. My thought was: let's check the website where we originally found it, and see if they messed it up there, too. Lo and behold, they did, but differently...

Oh, those Israelis. I mean, us Israelis! We lead the world in medicine, technology, patents, publishing, you name it. But why can't we spell in English? Or at least misspell consistently? Oh, now I remember - to move up in the entertainment sector :)

Thanks, Mom and Dad - and Happy Anniversary!

Going rouge

2009-12-30T22:21:00.002+02:00

This is one of the absolute best translation mistakes that I've seen in a long time. This isn't an accidental typo that was overlooked, but an actual mistake, a product of research and effort. Thanks so much, Gidon, for finding it! Here we go:

So, for those of you who can't read Hebrew, this is a jar of Sumac. You, know, it's a spice, it's sitting right there, on the spice rack. Sumac in Hebrew is called, you guessed it, Sumac. But apparently the guys who translated this jar from Hebrew weren't convinced that Sumac was also its name in English, so they went to look it up. Way to go, guys!

The trouble is that SMC is also the Hebrew root for blushing. So when you look it up (for example, here) you end up finding this:

They were so very very close. So close! And yet, not nearly close enough. Well, I suppose we should be relived that they opted for the first word on the top line of our definition, and not the second :)

Thanks, Gidon!

I'm not a doctor, but I play one on this box

2009-12-25T09:56:00.005+02:00

Well, Ariel has come through for us once again. You all remember my friend Ariel, right? She brought us this doozy a little while back, and has tipped me off to other fun things in the past. Anyway, she's been using the camera on her phone for the benefit of us all; check out her cool photo essay, and we'll regroup at the bottom (there's one shot each of the front and back, plus various close-ups). As always, you can double click on the photos, if you'd like to enlarge them:

Ariel said: " I am so glad that these are medical toys. I certainly would not want people who spell like this to be making real medical equipment. At first I wondered if it wasn’t supposed to actually be English. Maybe it was another language that also used “doctor”?"

I obviously agree. What's your favorite part of this masterpiece?

Only in Israel - The Chanuka Edition

2009-12-18T15:43:00.006+02:00

I tell you, I was looking all week long for a Chanuka related typo. All week! I found lots of breathtaking sunsets, lots of beautiful Menoras, and of course, plenty of Chanuka related paraphernalia. But nothing funny - bizarre, right?

Then last night I was shopping with my youngest daughter. We were waiting in line at our local, classy toy store, when I saw this. No, it doesn't have any English on it, so I couldn't find any funny English typos, but I thought that it was funny nonetheless. Is this possibly sold anywhere but in Israel?

Do you get it? It's a Chanuka gelt machine. Weird, right? I imagine that using it would make me feel all guilty, like a counterfeiter...

It's possible that I just had gelt on the brain, since my husband has been talking about it all week - starting with this article, before he wrote this one. But either way, I thought this was worth sharing.

Enjoy the rest of your Chanuka, everyone!

Three cheers for Google!

2009-12-10T23:17:00.000+02:00

.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I love Google! I use plain, everyday Google, I use Gmail, I use Google Docs, and lots more. My verdict: they're all super-fantastic. Really!

But one of the best Google apps, in terms of entertainment value, is Google Translate. It comes up with some of the goofiest translations, ever. It's sometimes quite helpful, and sometimes just awful, and you never really know which one you'll get, until you find yourself rolling on the floor, laughing. Please note that I didn't abbreviate that :)

Anyway, Google Translate has the habit (in Hebrew, at least) of transliterating words that it doesn't recognize. (That's actually one of the easiest ways to tell that something you're reading was translated using it.) In this ad that I found on our local chat-list, it attempts to transliterate the word HaTzaharon. (Tzaharon is the word used for afternoon day care, and this ad is for "HaTzahaon, as in, The Afternoon Day Care.) Okay, fine, we can grant them that one. But it gets better, check it out:

We agree, the English doesn't sound very natural. But do you see the part that really got me chuckling? Yes, there, toward the end... when does it open? From the end of WHAT?

Okay, Hebrew speakers out there: first to guess what that word was supposed to be gets a chocolate chip cookie. On your mark...

A great example

2009-12-03T00:17:00.002+02:00

.

Here's a classic blooper that my friend Dena found. This may not seem like an exciting typo at first - it doesn't give its sign a silly new meaning, or do anything particularly dramatic. But then you realize that it's an actual, permanent (not to mention gigantic) sign, in an actual, real mall. In Jerusalem, for crying out loud! This isn't some hand-written poster that a high school minimum wage kid stuck in a store window. Someone paid a lot of money to someone to have it designed, and then to a professional sign guy to put it together. And no one thought to ask an English speaker to proofread? It's only six words - how expensive could that possibly be?

Naturally, it's advertising an American product. Shhh... no one tell Adidas!

Sheesh. I'm glad I have a place to vent about these things :)

Have a great day, all! And thanks again, Dena!

Here's one, fresh from my own kitchen

2009-11-26T00:26:00.007+02:00

.
I stepped wrong a few weeks ago, on a Friday morning. I somehow twisted/sprained my foot, not my ankle, which I didn't know was even possible. Leave it to me to find something newly injurable... Anyway, Friday mornings are usually pretty hectic in our household - we all run around cleaning and cooking, trying our best to get ready for Shabat. But suddenly I couldn't walk, or even stand much, leaving Dave to be Mr. Mom.

That's why he was reading the couscous directions. And that's how he came across this:

Do you see it? Do you see it?

Oy.

Please don't close

2009-11-17T22:48:00.003+02:00

.
Here's another goodie that was discovered via Facebook. Thanks Avram, who found this excellent specimen and was savvy enough to photograph it. And thanks Dave, who is friends with Avram and passed it on to me!

And so, with no further ado: here's what Avram found in our favorite Israeli airport, on a trip abroad last month:

Closing dawn seems a bit harsh. I mean, any excuse for a sale is probably a good one, but I really enjoy dawn. Can we close something less pleasant? Maybe... hurricanes?

Thanks, Avram!

The latest import - get yours now!

2009-11-11T07:11:00.000+02:00

I always try to walk through the electronics department at Supersol before I start grocery shopping. You just never know what goodies you may find. This one caught my eye:

Hold on, if you can't see, here it is a bit closer:

Ha! But wait, there's more:

I especially like the beating element, and of course the bandles. But I've never liked pop quizzes, and certainly not while I shop...

Does that really count?

2009-11-04T06:12:00.002+02:00

.

I love Israel! That said, the ice cream here really leaves a lot to be desired. I don't know why - as a rule, the dairy products here are much yummier than what I've found anywhere else, and you'd think that ice cream would be an offshoot of dairy products... but I guess not. The stuff made here by Israeli companies just lacks the proper level of creaminess - that's my humble opinion!

However, there are a bunch of little ice cream shops that have cropped up all around, and these tend to carry fancier (generally foreign) brands. We went to one on Emek Refaim street earlier this year, and were impressed. They had creamy ice cream, and lots of fun toppings for the kids. And I did find their translation of the fistook (Hebrew for pistachio) ice cream to be entertaining:

Totally helpful, right?

Wow

2009-10-28T17:16:00.003+02:00

.
Yep, wow. I was at our post office yesterday, and while waiting in line, I found this terrible (and terribly unbelievable) specimen. Yes, it's a collection box, trying to raise money for a good cause. The cause here is clearer than ever - spelling lessons!

Click to enlarge the photo, if you can't see it well. Have a great week, everyone!

Lucky me!

2009-10-25T20:22:00.002+02:00

.
I remember, back in the day, when I had to go and find my own goofy signs and typos. I'm now lucky enough that things literally fall into my inbox. I received these two this morning from Gidon, longtime friend of my hubby Dave, and my newest ATOTS correspondent:

Gidon found these ads on the JPost site. I do understand that they're alluding to the recent discussions about foreign workers - but really, couldn't they have tried to be a little less bizarre with the translating?

Thanks, Gidon!

We don't got no double negatives

2009-10-19T23:45:00.002+02:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm proud to announce that I have a new blogging correspondent, all the way from New York! She is Something Different, and she found this one for me, in a fitting room, as you can see:

SD says: Here is one of my favorite signs, a classic yiddish mis-translation. :-) The fact is, this could just as easily have been (mis)translated from Hebrew, that haven of double negatives. It's not easy explaining to my kids why these kind of things don't work in English, believe me. But I'd like to think that by the time they own dressing rooms, they'll have gotten the hang of it...

Thanks, SD!

Someone really needs to tell them

2009-10-13T18:42:00.000+02:00

Here's an easy one - and another where we'll quickly see whether what I find funny matches what you do.

There's a relatively new traffic circle in Jerusalem, not far from the Central Bus Station. (Just for the record, I'm a BIG fan of traffic circles!) It's positioned on a very convenient shortcut that I've taken quite a few times recently, and so I keep seeing it, and noticing the dedication:

Can you see it? Here's a close-up, just in case:

So, I presume they're referring to this late Max M. Fisher, and I further presume that this was dedicated by his family. The thing is, every time I see it, I become more and more concerned that whoever paid for it did not get their money's worth. Apparently they asked for a square, and this is most definitely a circle...

Does this bother anyone else?

Super elegant

2009-10-07T23:35:00.006+02:00

You know, it's funny. When I was a kid growing up, we used to eat toast all the time, and it seemed perfectly normal. Delicious, even. By toast, of course, I mean a plain slice of bread, toasted in a toaster. Here in Israel, however, if you have toast, it generally means a toasted sandwich (as we recently saw here). As in, an assembled sandwich, including ingredients other than bread :)

Anyway, I do occasionally come across a good old fashioned toaster, like we used to have. Not that often, but sometimes. Usually, if the box says "toaster," it's referring to a sandwich maker (you can kind of see one in the second photo here). Maybe that's why they felt the need to explain just which kind of toaster this is:

A jumping toaster! Funny, right? But it gets even better - this other version was right next to it, for classier folk:

Ah. Who writes these things, anyway?

Come join us tomorrow!

2009-10-04T22:41:00.003+02:00

.
To quote RivkA:

First JBloggers Jerusalem Picnic!

Monday, October 5
2nd day of Chol HaMoed, 17th of Tishrei

Starting: 2:30 pm

Ending: 6:30 pm (or whenever the last person leaves)

Meeting Place: Gan Sacher ('cause they got a sukkah!) by the Giant Japanese Bell
(The bell is at the end of the park closest to the bus station and the Kraft Family Stadium)

Free Parking: by Beit HaChayal and Kraft Stadium (a short walk from the park)

Buses: Go to the Egged website and plug in your starting point and your destination.

Cost: FREE

What to Bring: Food, drink, a picnic blanket, frisbees, etc.

Who is welcome: All bloggers, all lurkers, all family! Basically, anyone who wants to come and hang out with us!

Registration is not necessary, but would be cool. Please fill out this form.

SPREAD the WORD!!

Moadim LeSimcha - see you there!

That's the way uh-huh uh-huh they like it

2009-09-30T00:06:00.004+02:00

Today's post includes no signs. Well, maybe it's a sign of differing cultures... I don't know. It's a fast, funny story that ends with a photo (or two), and I'm posting it. This is my blog, you know.

There's a new steak place here in Efrat. We like supporting local businesses, and we like eating, so we decided to give it a shot. It's run by a nice enough guy, and the food was pretty good. For six of us ordering, we got two pargiot (boneless dark meat chicken) sandwiches, one hot dog, two hamburgers, and a toasted cold cuts sandwich. That last one was a little unclear, so I asked what it was. The guy said, "you know, like you'd make a toasted cheese sandwich, only with cold cuts instead." My daughter likes cold cuts, and it sounded intriguing, so we agreed that it was a good choice.

Just out of curiosity, how do you all make toasted cheese sandwiches? I know that I take two slices of bread, put some cheese in the middle, and then either 1) fry it up in a pan or 2) stick it in a sandwich maker griddle thing. This was a slightly different experience. This place goes for the sandwich maker, but they don't use sliced bread. Nope - this was a baguette. And a big one, too. It was pretty long to start with, but after it was squashed in the sandwich maker, this was - seriously - a family-sized sandwich. So pretty, and so strange, I just had to take a photo, and here you go:

Just to make it clear, that's a full-sized dinner plate that it's sitting on. Impressive sandwich, don't you think?

Another year? That was fast.

2009-09-22T23:59:00.015+03:00

.
Wow! I signed something at work today, and as I filled in the date, I realized: apparently another year has gone by here at A Time of the Signs! Hard to believe, right? To tell the truth, when I started this blog, on September 22, 2007, I wasn't entirely sure that I'd have enough material to last one year, much less two. Just to refresh your memory, here's what was going on last year. And now? Now I'm happy to have friends scouting things out for me all over the country, and all over the globe. You, too, can be part of the fun - next time you see a sign, menu, or any typo that makes you chuckle - take a photo and send it to me! I'll happily post it here - the more the merrier.

Meanwhile, I'd like to let you all know (for those of you who hadn't noticed) that I've quietly started another parallel blog. It's appropriately called "I Wish I Were A Photographer." It's true, I do! As much as I enjoy finding goofy things to post here, I have to tell you - that other one is a lot easier to maintain. It's pretty much me going through the last five years' worth of cool/pretty photos that are sitting, unviewed by most, on my desktop computer, and posting the ones that I like best. If you're interested, check it out! I update it a few times a week.

But back to business. I have no intention of abandoning this blog - as long as I have things to post, I will post! First, a roundup of my ten funniest items from this past year. And now, on to today's regularly scheduled blogpost!

Our friends Aliza and Yishai moved to Israel (and to our neighborhood) recently (woo-hoo!), and somehow managed to find a funny menu right away. They found this while in Mamilla, the classy new outdoor mall in Jerusalem. Unbelievable!

Read it again, and you'll find something else - I think I read it through three times before I caught everything. I haven't been able to decide which blunder is my favorite, but I think that the "bad of green leaves" would be my son's choice. He generally finds any green leaves in his food to be bad :) Anyway, this menu is tremendously funny - thanks for thinking of me, guys!

And thanks to all of you, my loyal readers - here's to another year!

I would take it in a heartbeat

2009-09-15T18:43:00.007+03:00

Well, I had this funny menu lined up that was posted recently on the Efrat list. Someone here evidently caters from home, and will be selling ready-made food for the holidays - one of the items mentioned was "gefilte fish with red horse reddish." I found it to be pretty hilarious, and certainly appropriate for this week. But when I started writing, it somehow seemed not quite enough to carry itself as a post. Funny enough to mention, yes, but not quite enough to stand alone.

So I dug into my archives of funny things that my gracious friends have found and sent to me. This one is from our friend Ricky - he emailed it to me a couple of weeks ago. It's an ad from his local paper, listing some real estate. What do you think of the location? Unbeatable, right?

That's more like it! Thanks, Ricky - and Happy New Year to all of us!

What a world

2009-09-08T17:01:00.004+03:00

My husband is a serious Facebooker - he's always enjoyed keeping touch with friends and family, and it's a great way for him to keep doing that. What I hadn't realized is that apparently it's also a great way for me to find signs for this blog.

His friend Rivki posted this a couple of weeks ago - she saw it on her way home in Jerusalem's Katamon neighborhood. Her caption was "love the English spelling in this country." Thank you, Rivki, for posting this, and thanks for letting me repost it! And now, with no further ado:

Click on the photo to enlarge it, if you so desire. Enjoy, everyone!

mm hmm, 100%

2009-09-03T07:17:00.006+03:00

Hi everyone - sorry I haven't been better about posting, but it's been kind of a crazy hectic week with everyone getting into their post-summer schedules. I have been going through my piles of things to post, though (see last week's entry) and I found this one - sent from our Chicago correspondent - my mom. She spotted this one at her bakery:

Considerate of them to mention, I guess, but isn't some renaming called for? Thanks, Mom!

Just Magic

2009-08-25T07:06:00.005+03:00

Here's a candy package that my friend Ariel found a while back. I just realized that I never got around to posting it - and this is too good not to share! Not much explanation needed, let's jump in:

Ariel is giving these guys the benefit of the doubt, and assuming that they misprinted "dust." Should we be so generous?

Have a great day, everybody!

What to choose?

2009-08-17T19:13:00.007+03:00

Well, my kids are still gone. I got the new catalog from our local Matn"as (that's like the JCC here) yesterday by email, with the extra-curricular activities that they'll be offering in the upcoming year. I thought - fantastic! Let's find something good for the kids, that will make us all happy. I promise that I wasn't looking for typos. I promise! I was innocently thinking that they should start learning to play musical instruments, and wondering if we could afford it.

So there I was, "flipping" through (scrolling, really) and of course saw the occasional typo. Maybe I'm more patient with our local businesses than with other organizations - after all, we're a small town. So missing apostrophes didn't bother me much. Then there were a couple of capitalization mistakes, which didn't throw me. I did find "astern Dancing," in place of "Eastern Dancing," and that got a chuckle out of me. And "Piltes" instead of "Pilates." Funny! But blogworthy? Not so much.

Then I saw what for the first split-second looked to me like some kind of farming class - until I read it to the end:

Ha! Can you believe it? I forgot all about playing music, and labeled the email with the catalog as blog material. Whew - there's one for this week.

Until I went to look through it again - and found a far better typo that I somehow missed the first time around. Get ready... are you ready? Here it comes:

Yes, indeed, it seems that we offer quires. No, it wasn't meant to be squires, or requires - that one, my friends, was supposed to be choirs.

Ah... Sorry Efrat, I wasn't planning to make fun. But that one was just too good to pass up.

Available for all your bending needs

2009-08-12T11:54:00.006+03:00

Today I stopped in briefly to shop at one of our local grocery stores here in Efrat. Since I only needed to get a few things to make a quick salad, I planted myself into the express lane. Standing there, I saw this - a big Tupperware/Rubbermaid-type imitation box, full of other smaller ones, for only 49.95 shekel. It looked interesting - really, a perfect impulse buy. Then I looked once more at the small print, and began to smile:

Ha! I didn't even notice the remark at the bottom, until just now (click to enlarge the photo if necessary)...

Airport fun, S-XL

2009-08-06T07:36:00.009+03:00

Those of you who know me (even if only on Facebook) know that my kids have just been shuttled off to a fun-filled vacation in Chicago with my parents. This traveling as "unaccompanied minors" seemed to me a bit absurd, but apparently worked without a hitch. Anyway, we were there at the airport last night, and of course I managed to find a few funny signs. Now that I know that everyone's landed safely, I'm in a better mood to post them :)

First off: this one isn't funny, but definitely fits solidly in the "only in Israel" category. This is part of the sign next to the elevator, helpfully trying to guide you to the floor that you need:

Ha! I liked that one.

After we saw our kids off, we waited another half an hour or so, as our cousins were scheduled to arrive just then from the States. While hanging around in the Arrivals Hall, I noticed this, on the ceiling:

All those balloons - sad but funny nonetheless!

Then I noticed someone arriving with this box, which made me chuckle (feel free to enlarge the photo by clicking on it, if it's hard to see):

And of course - I've saved the largest for last:

This is actually a pretty typical Israeli mistake - since there aren't any of those "is, are, am" kind of words (auxiliary verbs) in Hebrew, Israelis tend to leave them out when translating into English. But Bank Leumi, come on! You're not some Mom 'N Pop hardware store in Be'er Sheva, you're Bank Leumi!

I really need to stop being surprised by these things...

Bloggers, unite!

2009-07-27T23:17:00.006+03:00

I'm proud to announce that I have a new online correspondent - and she's found us a great pizza menu! Thank you Mrs. S. - who mostly aptly said:

The menu hits all the high notes:
Misspellings? Check.
Random punctuation and capitalization? Check.
Different font sizes? Check.

See for yourself:How many funny things can you find? I'll give you a hint: there are quite a few :)

My personal favorite: the "possibility of crusting" as a pasta option. What on earth?!?

Note - please double-click on the menu to avoid squinting!

Look out!

2009-07-20T23:22:00.008+03:00

I'd just like to thank Dave - when we were driving back from our fun family vacation this past Saturday night, and I saw these - he didn't protest my squeals, the series of suddenly necessary u-turns, rummaging around for the camera, or me jumping out on the highway, just so I could provide you all with this crazy crazy entertainment:

Look it's a matched set:

What's that - you can't see? Here, I'll get a bit closer:

I would just like to mention that this is quite similar to a funny photoshopped sign that has traveled around the internet for quite some time. I must have it somewhere... ah, here:

This one is funny because the typo is in Hebrew, which translates to "Curvy Danger." Ha! It would be funnier were it real - but if you look at the spacing of the Hebrew letters in relation to the edges of the sign, it seems pretty obviously altered.

But I got a real one - woo hoo! It's pretty surreal :)